Not every team in the playoffs gets to hoist the Stanley Cup. Try as they may, 15 teams will end their hockey-related obligations without lifting the Holy Grail of Hockey. We here at MYFO encourage you to erase their substandard play from your collective memory, and join us in wishing them good luck on the golf course starting today.
Next up, Raskolnikov with the New Jersey Devils, who lost 4-1 to the New York Rangers and Captain Cockgobbler.
What Happened?: Ze goggles scored three goals in five games, reenacted the “I’m not touching you” Ocean Eleven scene with Martin Brodeur, and annoyed the Devils worse than Esa Tikkanen. And Avery only used one language! Inept offense prevented the Devils from coming back.
The Silver Lining: Arron Asham will be replaced by a cheaper checking line option? We’re one step closer to the Jeff Frazee era? Hell, I don’t know. This team will return with almost everyone. However, Lou Lamoriello will replace Brent Sutter with Brian Sutter when the GM writes “Brian Sutter” on the new contract, which Brent Sutter signs.