Did John Buccigross Consult The Oracle At Delphi Or Something?

With the Conference Semifinals starting tonight, I thought it would be a good time to take a look back and see how the so-called experts over at tWWL fared with their picks in the First Round.

As an added bonus, some hot Linda Cohn action, after the jump.

EXPERTS’ PICKS — FIRST ROUND

Series
(Games)


Amber


Buccigross


Burnside


Cohn


Hradek


Melrose

     

Montreal vs. Boston
 

Canadiens
(win in 6)

Canadiens
(win in 5)

Canadiens
(win in 6)

Canadiens
(win in 5)

Canadiens
(win in 5)

Canadiens
(win in 6)

     

Pittsburgh vs. Ottawa
 

Penguins
(win in 5)

Penguins
(win in 6)

Penguins
(win in 5)

Penguins
(win in 6)

Penguins
(win in 5)

Penguins
(win in 5)

     

Washington vs. Philly
 

Capitals
(win in 7)

Flyers
(win in 7)

Capitals
(win in 6)

Capitals
(win in 7)

Capitals
(win in 7)

Capitals
(win in 7)

     

New Jersey vs. NYR
 

Rangers
(win in 6)

Rangers
(win in 7)

Rangers
(win in 6)

Rangers
(win in 6)

Rangers
(win in 6)

Devils
(win in 7)

     

Detroit vs. Nashville
 

Red Wings
(win in 5)

Red Wings
(win in 7)

Red Wings
(win in 5)

Red Wings
(win in 5)

Red Wings
(win in 5)

Red Wings
(win in 6)

     

San Jose vs. Calgary
 

Flames
(win in 6)

Sharks
(win in 7)

Sharks
(win in 5)

Sharks
(win in 6)

Sharks
(win in 7)

Sharks
(win in 5)

     

Minnesota vs. Colorado
 

Wild
(win in 7)

Avs
(win in 6)

Wild
(win in 6)

Wild
(win in 6)

Avs
(win in 6)

Wild
(win in 7)

     

Anaheim vs. Dallas
 

Stars
(win in 7)

Ducks
(win in 7)

Stars
(win in 7)

Ducks
(win in 6)

Ducks
(win in 7)

Ducks
(win in 6)

     

 As you can see, that Buccigross fella is like a goddamn soothsayer. The only series he missed was Anaheim/Dallas and he was the only one of the experts to correctly pick the Flyers. Well done, you smarmy bastard.

Scott Burnside and E.J. Hradek performed admirably by picking six of the eight series correctly and David Amber and Linda Cohn were so-so with five.

But Barry Melrose…Barry, Barry, Barry. As is frequently the case, Barry Melrose picking a team to win a division, the conference or a playoff series is often the kiss of death. He only got four of the eight right, continuing his personal trend of consistently being wrong a lot of the time. Maybe all the hair products are finally leaking into his brain, slowly turning him into some sort of Canuckizombie. If this keeps up, in a couple more years he will be speaking like Emmitt Smith, only with a few “agaynsts” thrown in there for good measure.

We’ll check in with how the experts fared in the Semifinals in a couple of weeks.

Until then, from MYFO‘s mole inside ESPN HQ: we have heard that Buccigross had Linda Cohn reenact this scene from 300 and that is source of his prognostication skills.

*NIPPLE ALERT* **VIDEO NOT SAFE FOR WORK**

NSFW NSFW

Rumor has it that to work Cohn into a meditative trance, they lit a bowl filled with Jodie Foster’s pubic hair on fire and placed it near her.

No word though on why she went against her own oracular prophecies.

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5 Comments

  1. did they film Linda Cohn under water as well?

    /knows too much about useless crap

  2. Maggie the Monkey went 5-3…

    * Montreal defeats Boston
    * Pittsburgh defeats Ottawa
    * Philadelphia defeats Washington
    * New Jersey defeats New York Rangers
    * Detroit defeats Nashville
    * San Jose defeats Calgary
    * Minnesota defeats Colorado
    * Anaheim defeats Dallas

  3. The Oracle is a notorious Ducks fan. Buccigross should’ve factored that in.

  4. hockey monkey > Maggie the monkey

  5. Pens
    Habs
    Wings
    Sharks

    (going out on limbs here)


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