See You On The Fairway: Washington Edition

Not every team in the playoffs gets to hoist the Stanley Cup. Try as they may, 29 teams will end their hockey-related obligations without lifting the Holy Grail of Hockey. We here at MYFO encourage you to erase their substandard play from your collective memory, and join us in wishing them good luck on the golf course.

Next up, Weed Against Speed attempts to soothe the hurt feelings of every person that was praying for a Crosby/Ovechkin playoff matchup down the line. So pop in the Quest for Fire DVD, marvel at Rae Dawn Chong as a cavewoman and sharpen your crude stone weaponry – because we’re going prehistoric, Unfrozen Caveman Hockey Player-style.

What Happened?

In the 30th Game 7 in NHL history, the Capitals came up short when Cristobal Huet looked the wrong way after a save and Joffrey Lupul backhanded home the rebound, dropping the Caps to 1-5 in Game 7s. It appeared Washington simply ran out of steam after a frantic comeback to claim the Southeast Division and going down 3 games to 1 in the series against the Flyers.

Their Year On MYFO

It was a banner year on this fine blog for the Washington Capitals. We were introduced to Unfrozen Caveman Millionaire Hockey Player and I think the world is a better place for it. A post written by one of our own, Hextall454, was hand-picked by Ted Leonsis and showcased on his personal blog, Ted’s Take, which ultimately led to Hex sharing the owner’s suite at a Capitals game with Uncle Ted and Gary Bettman. How about that?

And finally, thanks to fellow editor Raskolnikov, we had the opportunity to crawl inside Alexander’s Ovechkin’s saggital crest and discover the splendor and wonder that is Ovie Time. Overall, MYFO’s evolution directly coincided with Ovechkin’s rapid ascension to NHL superstar. Richard Leakey would have been proud.

The Silver Lining

Ovechkin led his franchise out of the Stone Age and into the Bronze Age and there is no reason to expect the Capitals to regress. With Ovie under contract for 13 years, Washington should be in the mix for many years to come. Bruce Boudreau has been given a contract extension and the Capitals have Alexander Semin locked up for two more years. Throw in Calder Memorial Trophy finalist Nicklas Backstrom, among others, and the Capitals have themselves a solid core of players. 

Will the Capitals be able to lock-up Cristobal Huet with a long-term contract? Are they going to bring back Sergei Fedorov? How about Matt Cooke? Those are the most pressing issues facing the Capitals heading into the summer after a season that has to be considered an unqualified success and certainly a step in the right direction.

If you happen to be in the D.C. area over the summer and a guy who looks something like this asks to join you and your buddies on the Back 9, welcome him aboard.

He might just invite you back to his palatial estate for some Sputnik Vokda. And you are going to need it to wash down all the Caspian Platinum Sevruga caviar you just ate of the asses of the finest prostitutes the Russian Mafia can provide. Good times.

Or instead, Ovie might just let you hang out and watch him play an all-night session of Final Fantasy VI.

Either way.

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15 Comments

  1. Way to go Jennifer Love Huet.

    Things Ovie will do in the off season: ride a Segway.

  2. The world would be a better place if everything was written in the style of Ovie Time.

  3. @ Caps Red Army: I was at a WHL game and I saw a guy in an Ovechkin jersey. So my obvious reaction is to tell him “nice jersey.” So I say to him, “Ya Ovie time! Go Caps!”

    He stared at me.

    Then I walked away.

  4. @wraparoundcurl: other things he will do over the summer: buy a disco ball

  5. @Domi: And fill his fridge with more vodka.

  6. @Domi: and promote his backup career as a hair model with the Hair Cuttery. A man can’t live off $24 million alone, after all.

  7. Of course, that would be $124 million, because I can’t count.

  8. ovechkin buy house for party!

  9. Maybe in the off season Ovie will get around to getting a couch for his living room that just has an Xbox and giant tv.

  10. @wraparoundcurl: Glad I’m not the only one who remembers that picture! At first I couldn’t believe it, but then I realized if I were a 20 year old guy, I’d be pretty happy with just the Xbox and TV.

  11. hey, i’m a 26 year old girl and I’D be happy with an xbox and a tv.

  12. @Caps Red Army: That picture is frequently the background on my laptop.

    It’s why I like Ovie wayyyyyy more than Sid the Kid. I can’t see Sid have no furniture in his living room or pizza boxes all over his kitchen. Ovie lives like every 20 year old I know. The only major difference is Ovie’s dirty laundry is all from Dolce and Gabana.

  13. @wraparoundcurl: That picture as a desktop background? That’s the most brilliant thing I’ve heard – I might copy you (assuming I can find the picture again).

    And it’s true, he’s just so much more likable because he seems normal. Although a couple weeks ago I was out celebrating after the last game that put us into the playoffs, and two separate people stopped (since I was wearing Caps stuff) and told me that Ovie, Fedorov, etc. were at the club next door. I declined to go gawk – seeing Ovie get shitfaced was just a little TOO much reality for me.

  14. Well, in the picture he had a great setup–when he gets tired from playing xbox he can just shut it off and pull over the covers without leaving the room! Brilliant!

  15. @ Caps Red Army: I found the picture at Ovechkinfans.com They have lots of other great Ovie pictures.


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