Not on their Registry? Future Draft Picks.

As I write from a cubicle in Ajax, Toronto (ok, I lied.  It’s not a cubicle It’s an igloo.  I’m writing from an igloo, and I’ve hired a moose to edit and proofread.  Canadian stereotypes: CHECK!), I’ve realized I’ve been witness to a most depressing event in the Great White North.  With Montreal on the ropes, it appears that we’ll be entering the next round of the playoffs Canuckistan free.  And by sheer percentages, there’s an 80% chance that one of those teams should love nationalized healthcare.  This is madness.  How ever will Canada keep their focus on Ice Hockey, what with the CFL Draft to analyze?

Help me, Mats Sundin.  You’re our only hope.

In America, football players do this ALL THE TIME.  Take the focus off sports actually being played by having a high-profile athlete in an off-season sport do something worthy of buckets and buckets of TMZ.com drool.  That’s great thinking, Mats.

Toronto’s – and Sweden’s – most eligible sporting bachelor announced yesterday he’s ready to tie the knot with 25-year-old girlfriend Josephine Johansson.

OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!!?1!

 Just think of the possibilities!  Bryan McCabe can be an usher, only to be out of position chatting up one of the bride’s sisters and an army of wedding guests storm down the aisle.  They’re going to need two table placecards to fit the entire name of Alexander Ponikarovsky.  We hear Kyle Wellwood and Matty Stajan have a mean ABBA cover band that will no doubt make the happy couple get on the dance floor.  And Darcy Tucker – is that not the hottest name of a maid of honor you’ve ever heard?

Finally, Toronto fans have something to plan for.  Now I understand that Sundin hasn’t exactly set a date, but he’s usually pretty free after the first week in April. 

(Major stick tap to Ryan Pfeiffer/Guelph Mercury for the photo.)

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9 Comments

  1. I’m getting them custom-made “Hans och Hennes” bath towels. Do you think they’ll like them?

    (crosses fingers)

  2. Help me, Mats Sundin. You’re our only hope.

    Boyd Devereaux, you must come with me to Alderaan.

  3. yes for Swedish pussy on the left, no for Swedish pussy on the right

    /sorry

  4. and Hex, on DS you made it seem like you were in Toronto. Ajax is not Toronto. Liar, liar pants on fire.

    / again, sorry, Habs-Flyers series has me acting like a 12-year old

  5. Damn it, Habs.

    Last night I was in Toronto. This morning I am in Ajax.

    In between I used a magical machine called a “rental car.”

  6. ok Hex I’ll buy that. Damn nightmare-inducing Marty Biron (of all people) has me totally out of it this morning.

  7. (makes note for awesome fly-on-the-Wall type escapades)

  8. Reading this post, I was thinking this gives Domi something great to work with.

  9. We hear Kyle Wellwood and Matty Stajan have a mean ABBA cover band that will no doubt make the happy couple get on the dance floor.

    Throw Alex Steen in there as well–he’s actually Swedish.

    /giggles at image


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