Sportscasting Supervillians Unite!

Captain Canada: Bristol? Where the hell is Bristol? It’s not in England, is it? Buncha pantywaists.

Major Mullet: Naw. It’s in Connecticut, eh.

Captain Canada: Well, that’s all right then. That Pat Verbeek was a heckuva player. Little guy, but tough as nails. He didn’t need any dispy-dos to score goals. Just played hard and went to the net, like a good Ontario boy should.

Major Mullet: Well, coach, now that we’re joining forces down here, what’s the next step? Mexico? Finland?

Captain Canada: Finland?! Finland?! Don’t get me started. I’d like to punch that Esa Tikkanen right in the mush. No, I’ve got bigger plans.

Major Mullet: Are you sure? Cause they’ve got some nice beaches in Mexico, and the ladies there really dig pinstripe suits.

Captain Canada: Forget Mexico, Melrose.

Major Mullet: Hey, you’re revealing my secret identity!

Captain Canada: Secret schmecret. Every time you open your mouth you give yourself away. Now listen up: Have I ever told you about my little brudder?

Major Mullet: You’ve got a brudder? Where?

Captain Canada: He’s in the NBA. We’re taking over a whole ‘nother sport, sport.



  1. here come little brudder…

  2. Where does one find a plaid jacket? And in numerous colors…

  3. Indirect Harford Whalers reference….check.

  4. What, no “douche-off” competition?

  5. We haven’t had a douche-off in a while actually…

  6. Last time I saw Melrose on TV someone had to put a wooden spoon between my teeth. Those suits should be illegal.

  7. Anyone else notice how drunk Melrose looks in that picture?

  8. @ Zorkon: I figured that was his general demeanor.

  9. Don Cherry’s suit jacket last night was magical. It was a vivid magenta floral with an orchid motif. I am kind jealous it wasn’t mine.

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