Every year around this time, in the midst of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, the IIHF holds their annual World Championships. Why? We’re not exactly sure. After all, it’s the best teams of the NHL that make the playoffs, and there’s a damn good chance that they are the best teams because they have the best players. So why not hold a World Championships which will prove once and for all which country is the best in a tourney of above-average hockey players? Let’s do it!!!!
This will continue until Korea shocks the world and wins the damn thing. Richard Park is a Golden God.
But just because national honor is at stake in a series of sub-NHL caliber hockey games doesn’t mean we can’t celebrate the sport. And is there a better way to celebrate the sport than old hockey players playing in an Alumni Game? After the jump, we look at match-up, forget the names of our grandkids, and fall asleep in front of the TV by 4pm.
QUEBEC CITY – A Champions Alumni Game with former hockey stars will be played when the current World Championship players have a day off, on May 15 at 19:00 at the Colisée Pepsi. The event is a remake of a similar game during the 2007 World Championship in Moscow between the World Stars and Team Gazprom.
That’s right, we’ve got old Russians versus the World in this high-octane tilt. There were two eras in my memory where old-school Soviets ruled the world. The first occurred back in the sixties and seventies, you know, before Kurt Russell wore silly pants and beat them in the Olympics. And second, the mid-nineties consisted of Detroit assembling every Russian they could find to destroy American values. And certainly, both generations will combine to show other old people who rule the right to control the remote at the Sleepy Acres Community Center. Valeri Kamensky, Alexander Medvedev, Slava Fetisov, and Vladimir Lutchenko – who is coming out of retirement after snapping his leg in two during a Simpsons cameo – will suit up for Gazprom.
But who will defend the world from Communism? Scott Young.
Look, I understand that not everybody can be a former superstar. Hell, if everyone could be a superstar, well then, not even heated skate blades could thaw this new Cold War. Here’s part of the press clipping:
The game will include Roy – as a skater, not a goalie – on the World Stars team along with former stars such as Kurri, Glenn Anderson, Mats Naslund, Esa Tikkanen, Scott Young and Ray Ferraro.
Nice. Patrick Roy will be there. So will a few of the Oiler dynasty forwards. Even Mats Naslund still outshines Markus in the race for Best Naslund ever. And if Ray Ferraro wasn’t a career top liner, John Buccigross is doing his best to make us think he was. But Scott Young? But Hex! He was a 40 goal scorer! (once)
I’m not saying Young isn’t good enough to play in an Alumni Game – he’s far from it, considering they’re letting Jim Balsillie of all people play. But why does he get top billing? Sean Burke and Jyrki Lumme are no doubt insulted.
LeNoc, care to defend the honor of a longtime Blue?