See You on the Fairway: Dallas Stars

Not every team in the playoffs gets to hoist the Stanley Cup. Try as they may, 29 teams will end their hockey-related obligations without lifting the Holy Grail of Hockey. We here at MYFO encourage you to erase their substandard play from your collective memory, and join us in wishing them good luck on the golf course.

The Dallas Stars:

What Happened?: Hey!  Detroit remembered that they’re a hockey team and returned to form for a Game 6 smackdown deep in the heart of Texas.  Apparently the will of one Brendan Morrow can take a team so far, and Mike Modano grew fatigued trying to correctly pronounce the names of all his damn Finnish teammates.

Their Year in MYFO: This year’s mockery was focused on everyone’s favorite professional goalfenseman, Martin Turco.  Somewhat unsatisfied by relegation to a mere crease, the Stars’ netminder sought versatility in his job assignment.  If Tippett wouldn’t listen to his pleas, someone else offered to put his skate in the Dallas crease (Afino, I’m sorry.)  Mike Ribeiro survived a douche war, Krys Barch got his name on the Internet more than he’s ever had before, and Mike Modano showed us his animal instincts.  And of course, Weed Against Speed kicked off our Profiles in Douchebaggery series with someone that needs to hug it out. 

(bitch)

The Silver Lining: It’s decision time in Big D.  Do they spend the cash to re-sign Miettinen, Hagman, Norstrom, or Holmqvist, or just spend the money to get seet seats at the Cowboys’ new digs in a year.  Ultimately, it’s a core that in its prime years of production, so look for Dallas to stick around with little to change.  And for Marty Turco to eat a truckolad of Ring Dings.

And it’s only two more years until Jeff Halpern’s off the books.  Thanks, Caps!

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2 Comments

  1. I know nothing about golf or anything but aesthetically speaking, that looks like one rickety ass green.

    Goddamn you Stars. I was willing you to kill the Wings. Way to break a girl’s heart.

  2. If Sid Crosby really is Hockey Jesus, it is time for him to rise up and smite the godless heathens from Detroit.


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