Spelling Bee 1, NHL 0

The key to throwing a good party is attention to detail.  You need to make sure that no one can call you out for something you had to rush because of time constraints.  Take Doritos for example.  If you serve Doritos at your party, that’s fine.  I won’t judge you.  Most people like Doritos.  But if you’ve based the success of your hors d’oeuvres on a bowl full of triangular chips that may or may not glow in the dark, they better as hell be Cool Ranch-flavored.  Discerning snack aficionados will notice.

Last night, it seemed that the NHL managed to get everything right.  The awards went to the most deserving players, the players managed to rent nice suits and tuxedos in time for their awkward entrances, and they even remembered to outfit lost-looking Canadian children with San Jose jerseys (like that’s a real place.) 

Speaking of which, a jersey is the ultimate tribute a fan can make in honor of their favorite player.  The NHL realizes this, and chose to honor each award recipient with both a shiny trophy and a kid donning the very sweater they wore whilst earning said shiny trophy.   Take Nicklas Lidst-SWEET CHRIST, DID I JUST SEE WHAT I THOUGHT I SAW?

That’s right, kids.  Your 6-time Norris Trophy winner, Nick Lindstrom. 

I guarantee Bettman has never even heard of Cool Ranch.

(Reasonable Doubt’s a lifesaver for the screen grab.)



  1. Cool Ranch? I’m sorry, Hex, but we will have to agree to disagree on that one. Nacho Cheese all the way. Cool Ranch Doritos smell like the unholy combination of body odor, fear and corn – just like Pavel Datsyuk.

  2. Gary Buttman must be so embarrassed.

    And I would like to throw in a plug for Taco Doritos.

  3. >_> Is it bad that I’d rather have pretzels than Doritos?

    But, oh jeez. I wonder if Lidstrom–er, Lindstrom–noticed the name on the back of the jersey.

  4. I also give a hearty thumbs-up for Cool Ranch Doritos.

    They are crack to me.

  5. I was also quite impressed with the Versus label at the bottom of the screen announcing the presentation of the “Lady Bing” Trophy.

  6. I am a fan of the buffalo Doritos. That also have the blue cheese Doritos in the bag too.

    America rules, y’all.

  7. @Caps: could that BE any more embarrassing?


  8. @wraparoundcurl: Silly, they’re called the Sabres.

    Although that would make for another awesome uni redesign.

  9. Are you insinuating that us Buffalonians are cheesy, Hex?

  10. Hey hey hey now. By “awesome” uni redesign, do you mean this…


    Especially check out the previous design ideas.

    Anyway, the only Doritos are nacho cheese. Pretzels are the way to go however. My cholesterol appreciates more pretzels and less Doritos. And less chips and Bison dip.

  11. As for “Lindstrom” and “Lady Bing”…embarrassing. Hence my tag of choice: “The NHL is a joke”.

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