Caps’ GM Would Like You To Know He Is Hung Like a Horse

It’s almost free-agent time in the NHL, which means that teams are scrambling to re-sign their own FAs before the market opens up on July 1 to all bidders. With the past couple summers containing craziness like the Dustin Penner and Tomas Vanek contracts, the “restricted” in restricted free agency is at best a mild deterrent.

Which is why, while attempting to work out a long-term deal with RFA defenseman Mike Green, Washington Capitals GM George McPhee brought out the big stick this week–his own.

Just in case some other team was thinking about signing the offensively gifted Green to a ridonkulous offer sheet, McPhee offered this warning:

“If someone puts an offer sheet in front of one of our players,” McPhee said during a news conference in Arlington to preview this weekend’s NHL Entry Draft, “we’ll match it – probably in less than 10 minutes.”

So, Brian Burke, if you were thinking about getting into an RFA pissing match, McPhee would like you to know that he is equipped with a fire hose. And he just drank a case of Coors Light. Don’t listen to Green’s agent when he whispers in your ear that you can take McPhee. (“Brian, you’re a grower, not a shower! McPhee stuffs his silk shorts!”) Once Green signs that sheet…it’s T-minus ten minutes to golden shower time.

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4 Comments

  1. How soon before Kevin Lowe starts throwing around offer sheets again?

  2. Is that a low-pressure or high-pressure system coming across Ohio?

  3. It looks like a leech, or maybe some form of bacteria magnified about 10000X

  4. @Domi: I think it is magnified Ebola.


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