In what we hope will be a recurring feature here on MYFO during the long and winding road that is the offseason, we welcome you to MYFO’s (P)friday Perfunctory Photo Pop Probatory. Every Friday, we will put up a photo and ask a few multiple choice questions. First up, a photo of Sean Avery, in what could likely be the most ridiculous outfit a man has ever worn. So sharpen your pencil, keep your eyes on your own paper and meet me after the jump.
Question #1: What dialogue best represents this photo?
a) “Would you bitches hurry up? We’re going to be late to the Charlie & The Chocolate Factory costume party!”
b) “Ma and Pa…can we go to the Church picnic now?”
c) “If I know Men’s Vogue editor Jay Fielden as well as I think I do, he’ll invite us right in for tea and strumpets.”
d) Sean the Tot: “Mum? Can I have some more figgy pudding please? It is really quite exquisite.”
Mum: “No, m’love. You have had plenty, dear.”
Sean the Tot: “Bloody cock knocker.”
Question #2: What is the best possible explanation for the outfit?
a) Sean Avery has no sense of style
b) Sean Avery is mildly retarded
c) Sean Avery is an attention whore
d) All of the above
Question #3: When Sean Avery gets out of bed in the morning, what is the first thing he does?
a) Admires himself in the mirror for 15 minutes.
b) Removes eyeliner from last night with Neutrogena Eye Makeup Remover then moves on to his 45 minute skin rejuvenation routine using only the highest quality Oil of Olay products.
c) Rubs one out.
d) Asks the two chicks in his bed what they are still doing in his fucking apartment.
e) Coffee enema.
Question #4: If presented with the opportunity, what would be the most appropriate thing to say to Sean Avery about said outfit?
a) “Hey douchelick, what the fuck’s wrong with you?”
b) “Where did you get the outfit, Sean? The United Colors of Assrammer?”
c) “Sean, you look like the inbred offspring of a cuntrag and a fagnut.”
d) “Those short pants look a little tight. Aren’t you worried about getting a yeast infection?”
e) “You look like Babe Ruth’s gay cousin…Gabe Ruth.”
f) “Cock knocker.”
g) No words are necessary. Just a kick in the nuts will suffice.
I’m sorry, but I have to go with “g” as my answer on the last question. There is almost no choice in the matter, is there?