Everything IS bigger in Texas

Hey Pac-Man…go fuck yourself. Debbie will be doing ME tonight.

Dallas, huh? Well, I guess it’s not too much of a step down from New York. They’ve gotten rid of all those shitty North Star players, right? Modano? Fuck….oh well. Then this won’t be too bad. I got my 4 million a year. The rest of you can go blow your mothers. “He’s not worth that much”, “He’s a disgrace to the league”, “His cock is too big, it hurts when I pee now”. Bitch, Bitch, Bitch.

Before I start playing, though, I have some demands. First, this roster. If you have a roster made up primarily of frogs, you’re not going to go anywhere. Too many Quebecistani Fucksticks around here. Second, Turco. Who the fuck let this fruitcake into the NHL? Go back to figure-skating where you belong, cock knocker.

Now, what is the pussy like in this town?

…..you two on the left can stay. The rest of you need to get the fuck out.

You’ve made some good movies around here, though, right?

……holy mother of fuck, is that offer from Calgary still on the table? I’ll deal with Phaneuf. I don’t care. Just get me the fuck out of this town.


  1. Isn’t rubbing one out against the law in Texas?

    Unless you are carrying a loaded weapon at the time, that is.

  2. What’s wrong with the 2 on the right?

  3. Oh Sean, there are no Dolce and Gabana stores in Texas…

  4. wraparoundcurl: he can order online right? RIGHT? I also think they frown down on black nail polish in Texas

  5. I think he can order online.

    What’s that old Texas saying? There’s only steers or queers in Texas, and you don’t look like a steer….?

  6. No, Texans carry guns so they can shoot steers and queers.

  7. “His cock is too big, it hurts when I pee now”.

    I call shenanigans

  8. I see at least 7 that are better and smarter than anything your daddy ever saw!!!

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