Hey Kids, It’s Summer Camp Time! Now Where Do You Little Bastards Want To Go?

Hi, there. This is Derek Boogaard and I have some bad news.

MYFO has generously afforded me the opportunity to take a moment out of their hectic posting schedule to inform you that this summer, there will be no Boogaard Fighting Camp. I am profoundly disappointed about this and I would rather not get into why I will be not holding the camp at this point. The one thing I will say is the negative publicity and media backlash that resulted from my last Fighting Camp had a lot to do with my decision and let’s leave it at that.

But do not fret, for from the ashes of the Fighting Camp, a new Boogaard camp has been created:

I am pleased to announce and be sure to get your registration forms in early, because space is limited for the Derek Boogaard Debate Camp.

Even though I will not be instructing kids on the ins and outs of the pugilistic portion of hockey, which is obviously my true passion (the look on a kid’s face when he lands a haymaker right to the side of the head of kid smaller than him is truly a sight to behold), I still wanted to be involved with young people and to touch the lives of the future leaders of our world. After researching the plethora of youth programs and camps that are available to young people, I felt the best direction to go in was hosting a debate camp (although the concept of a fat camp was seriously considered as well).

At the Booggard National Debate Institute (BNDI), you will experience much more than the standard, boring itineraries, labs and mock competitions you find at more traditional debate camps. Just as my style of play in the National Hockey league is not what most consider conventional, I plan on bringing something a little different to what a Debate Camp should be all about. Here are some of the features of BNDI:

  • Quality Faculty – a virtual who’s who of fourth liners from the NHL will be volunteering their time
  •  Comprehensive Curriculum – inclusive of all arguments and styles, at least those my faculty or I have heard about
  •  Instruction for All Levels – labs designed for the beginner all the way up to those that will challenge even the biggest pencil-necked geeky dweeb 
  • Student-Goon Ratio – don’t worry about feeling left out – didn’t I already mention there will be plenty of goons in attendance? 
  • More Actual Debating – four or more debates each week, including the highlight of the camp: “What the Fuck is the Deal with the Instigator Rule?” 
  • Individualized Instruction – less lectures, more small group learning – until you’ve worked one-on-one with Derek Boogaard to construct a carefully constructed rebuttal, you really haven’t done anything with your life, nerd 
  • A Fun, Kind-Of Safe Environment – irresponsible instructors, somewhat competent dorm staff, and firm, unreasonable rules, unfairly and inconsistently enforced

So kids, tell your parents where you want to go this summer for your camp experience. We’ll have some fun, we’ll knock some heads, and most of all, we’ll learn a little bit more about ourselves. And maybe, just maybe, we’ll roll some clips of my best, ahem, debates.

 

Oh, are we gonna have a great week or what? See you there!

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3 Comments

  1. Learn speech techniques like this!

  2. Other debate resolutions on the docket: “Resolved: Gary Bettman ought to be classified as a Kiebler elf.” “Todd Bertuzzi is both a punk ass bitch and bitch ass punk.”

    The waltz is glorious.

  3. *hits stick on ice* Will this be included in the curriculum?


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