Mediocre Russians Going Home? Yawn.

That doesn't look like a Lincoln ripoff. Not at all.

That doesn't look like a Lincoln ripoff. Not at all.

NHL brass has their panties in a wad once again over upstart Russian hockey league the KHL (“the ‘K’ is because it’s eKstreeeeme!”). Seems the Russian petrogoons who run the KHL may or may not be violating the “truce” negotiated between the two leagues a few weeks back, and are once again attempting to lure Russian players back to the motherland with promises of fine beluga and classic ZIL limousines, such as the one pictured above.

Last time, it was rumors of Evgeni Malkin being lured to Magnitogorsk. This time, it’s…Alex Radulov?! And Viktor Tikhonov?! Nooooooo!

How will the NHL survive if the Nashvilles and Atlantas of the league can’t fill out their third lines with barely passable Russian-sounding guys? I mean, “Russian” means “scores a lot,” right? (As a Blues fan, I know better, having suffered through the ill-fated bait-and-switch of the Two Vitalis, Prokhorov and Karamnov.)

From a principle standpoint, the NHL’s position is understandable. You can’t have these Russkies just coming in and signing guys away. But from a practical standpoint…who cares if Alex Radulov misses his mama’s borscht? It is only ever going to be fringe NHL players who are lured back to Russia for buckets of cash.

Until the KHL obtains the Stanlikov Cup, the NHL shouldn’t be too worried. After all, we’ve already imported all the best from Russia; you think Maria Sharapova, Elena Dementieva and Anna Kournikova actually live in Russia? Hahahahaha. Not to mention the lifetime contract that Yakov Smirnoff has signed in Branson. What’s left for these guys to go home to? If Nikita Filatov has a sudden hankering for that one blintz place in Novgorod, more power to him.

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3 Comments

  1. ”the ‘K’ is because it’s eKstreeeeme!”

    NIcely played

  2. So when is Raskolnikov gonna get swayed by mega petrodollar and blog about the KHL?

  3. @Squampton:

    When they also toss in the loose Russian women with the offer.


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