Welcome to another edition of MYFO’s (P)friday Perfunctory Photo Pop Probatory. Every Friday Whenever the hell I feel like it, I will put up a photo or two and ask a few multiple choice questions. This time we take a look at some photos from July 17th and 18th, when Mike Babcock took Lord Stanley’s Cup on an all-expenses paid trip to Saskatoon. The quiz…begins…now.
Question #1: What was Mike Babcock thinking at the moment this photo was taken?
a) “Boy, this thing is heavy.”
b) “This is what it’s all about. It sure is nice bringing some light into this poor child’s life.”
c) “Did I leave the coffee pot on?”
d) “Awww shit. I forgot to put on my Bro.”
e) “Man, it sucks to be this kid…but AWESOME to be Mike Babcock!”
f) “Whatever this kid’s got ain’t contagious, right? Just being this close is giving me the heeby-jeebies!”
Question #2: What was the kid thinking at the moment this photo was taken?
a) “Wow! The Stanley Cup! Awesome!”
b) “I have been feeling so very low lately. It was nice of Mr. Babcock to visit me.”
c) “Mike Babcock? Seriously? You gotta be kidding me! Why not Zetterberg?”
d) “Yeah, great, the Stanley Cup – whee-frickin’-hoo. Sorry to interrupt this wonderful photo-op, Babcock, but is the Cup going to somehow magically raise my T cell count? If not, you can take it and shove it where the sun don’t shine. And where in the hell is the nurse with my pain medication? I’m dyin’ over here!”
Question #3: What would be the most appropriate use of this photo?
a) The Babcock Family Christmas Card
b) As Exhibit A in the pamphlet “Hairstyles That Make Teenage Boys Look Like Sissies”
c) The cover photo for the 2009 Saskatchewan Tourism Guidebook with the caption “Saskatchewan in July: Bring a Jacket”
d) All of the above
Question #4: From Left to Right: Yes, No, Cup, Dude, Dude(?), Maybe
c) “What are you doing here, Mr. Hansen?”
Question #5: Which of the following questions is most needed to be answered regarding the above photo?
a) Shouldn’t the Cup have a lifejacket on?
b) Do you think Babcock said “100% pure adrenaline” at least once while wearing that getup?
c) Aren’t body suits supposed to fit better?
d) Why isn’t this photo on “Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians” yet?
Question #6: What did Mike Babcock most likely say as this photo was taken?
a) “Yeah, make sure you get my balls in the photo…perfect.”
b) “Kids, honey? Could me and the Cup have a moment alone, please? Yeah, just jump in the water.”
c) “Eat your fucking heart out, Ron Zook. Sure, you look pretty cool waterskiing, but is there a trophy in the boat? Don’t think so, assmunch!”
d) “Maybe if you weren’t as rigid as this Cup I would touch you like this more often, honey.”
Question #7: Why is there a boy playing the bagpipes to the Stanley Cup?
a) As a favor to Mike Babcock
b) He thought it would make for a funny photograph
c) His internet connection is down so he can’t play World of Warcraft
d) He’s farsighted and actually believes he’s serenading the shapely Becky Pullmer, the prettiest girl in town
Question #8: What song is the boy playing on his bagpipes?
a) Scotland the Brave
b) Danny Boy
c) O Canada
d) Celebration by Kool & The Gang
e) Da Ya Think I’m Sexy? by Rod Stewart
Question #9: If capable of thought, what would Lord Stanley’s Cup have been thinking at the moment the photo was taken?
a) “Well, that’s certainly interesting. No one has ever played bagpipes to me before.”
b) “Why is the President of the Harry Potter Fan Club playing the fucking bagpipes?”
c) “DO NOT WANT. SHUT…UP!!! For the love of all that is holy and good, kill me now.”
d) “I’ll tell you this, if that little cocksucker gets too close to me, I’ll bite his fucking ear off! That’s a fucking promise man. You fuck with me too long you get fucked with!! Ahh, fuck me – I don’t even have a fucking mouth…”
e) “I guess it could be worse. At least no one is letting their kid shit in me at the moment, like that fuck Kris Draper did.”
** Many thanks to the Hockey Hall of Fame and Getty Images for use of the photographs. Don’t sue me. **