Cashblowing: Send ‘Em to Nicaragua Edition

Face it, people – the summer months are difficult ones in which to be a sarcaustic hockey blog.  Good leads on stories are as infrequent as Derian Hatcher lighting the lamp/turning down an eclair.  In what may become a recurring feature out of necessity, Hextall454 takes a look at the finest product offerings the NHL Shop has to offer…and then promptly demands his money back.

Can’t say there’s a whole lot happening right now that makes me want to rush out to the NHL Shop and start burning through my hard-earned currency.  It’s not that I don’t see that you’ve signed Dan Fritsche to an entry-level deal, Colorado; he’s just not exactly at the top of my must-buy Avs jersey list.

Ok, you got me.  No such list exists.

And I don’t care what they’re saying about gas prices going back down, I’ve got to keep my wallet in check.  And besides, our guest room has been swallowed up by this monstrosity, so where would I put fresh NHL.com gear?  Hell, Madden came out today.  I’m broke.

But in case YOU, the loyal MYFO reader, would like to contribute towards Gary Bettman’s annual bonus, here are some curiously-low cost items, courtesy of your friends at Inventory Clearance Central.

Got $4.97?  The t-shirt featured above has been marked down from 19.99 to the price of an extra value meal?  Why, you ask?  Apparently the old “struggle to advance past the 7-seed in 7 games, only to bow out to an unimpressive Dallas team that was running solely on the willpower of Brendan Morrow” wasn’t the goal that the ad wizards had in mind.  But hey, at least they got the “one team” side of the equation correct.  Partial credit.

Got another $4.97?  You Blue Jacket die-hards had to have been crushed when your top brass dealt Fedorov to Moscow on the Potomac last March.  While you continued your rebuilding effort from your respective fairways and/or couches come April, #91 was alive and well on a playoff team.  Don’t worry, you told yourself.  He’ll be back during free agency.  Who can resist playing second fiddle to a college football team in your town?  But then Washington decided to overpay like a drunken trophy wife at an art auction, and you were left with nothing but tears.  How about an always classy t-shirt jersey to wipe them away?

 

Only Got $2.97?  Seems like a reasonable price, Preds fans.  Your organization has chosen to subsidize your purchase of this perfectly usable hockey puck for you!  After all, to get Foppa’s face on there, they already paid the Philadelphia Flyers Ryan Parent, Scottie Upshall, Kimmo Timonen, and Scott Hartnell.  That helped bring the price down for you, the consumer, below three bucks.  Operators are standing by.

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8 Comments

  1. I scoff at you as I sit here in my Authentic Wayne Gretzky St Louis Blues sweater

  2. That’s nothing. I had to beat off 734 Ugandan peasants for my “Ottawa Senators 2007 Stanley Cup Champion” tee-shirt. And no, before you ask (and I know you want to) it’s NOT for sale.

  3. My Official Eric Lindros Quebec Nordiques jersey is not impressed.

  4. What, no Yashin gear 1/2 off?

  5. Ray Emery maybe?

    /crickets

  6. @ Sir HofH: Sadly enough, you can actually see a few people still wearing those at Blues games.

  7. @ Senators Lost Cojones
    Was that for ‘Guys Gone Wild: Ugandan Style’?

  8. @lenoc – Sadly enough, I wasn’t joking (well, okay, I wasn’t actually wearing it when I wrote it)


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