Welcome to another edition of MYFO’s (P)friday Perfunctory Photo Pop Probatory. Every Friday Whenever the hell I feel like it, I will put up a few photos and ask a few multiple choice questions. Today’s quiz involves photos from Valtteri Filppula’s day with the Cup in Finland a few weeks ago as well as a couple of photos when from Henrik Zetterberg’s day in Sweden. Keep your eyes on your own papers, people – at least if you want them to remain in your ocular cavities, that is.
Question #1: What best describes the above photo?
a) Valtteri Filppula takes time off from his busy schedule to pose for photos with the entire cast of the Helsinki smash, “Aryans on Ice”
b) Village of the Damned is one scary movie
c) “Hey kids! Who wants to go out for some Leipäjuusto? My treat!”
d) It was a picture-perfect moment. What the coaches did not know is that Filppula had several six packs of Mike’s Hard Lemonade chilling in his hotel room
Question #2: What would Don Cherry say about the above photo?
a) I know the guy on the right is Teemu Selanne, but who’s the broad?
b) Goddamn European fancy boys
c) These two just straight up suck bum
d) The greatest hockey player who ever lived: Bobby Orr, and I love him – and these pansies are no Bobby Orrs.
Question #3: What was Teemu Selanne thinking when he got dressed the morning this photo was taken?
a) “Lookin’ good, Teemu. Look-ing good.”
b) “Sure, it’s not my Member’s Only jacket, but it’s going to have to do.”
c) “I’m so going to win the prize for best costume at that Starsky & Hutch convention.”
d) “♪♪ You can tell by the way I use my walk, I’m a woman’s man – no time to talk. Music loud and women warm, I’ve been kicked around since I was born ♪♪”
e) All of the above
Question #4: If you were to write a caption for this photo, would it be:
a) In a memory he will most certainly cherish, Henrik Zetterberg’s nephew gets baptized using the Stanley Cup as a baptismal font
b) Despite the fact that the Stanley Cup has been fondled more often than a Bela Károlyi protégé, this boy’s parents thought it was completely safe to use the Cup for their son’s baptism
c) The boy pictured unfortunately was rushed to the hospital after the blessed event. A word to the wise: beer is not an acceptable liquid to use for baptisms
d) The lady from The Weakest Link baptizes a young Swedish boy
e) This little bastard ain’t ever winning the Cup now. Good job, dumbass parents
Question #5: What one word best summarizes the above photo?
Question #6: Which of the following most accurately portrays the feelings of the average MYFO reader regarding the photo?
a) What a handsome fellow and I wish him nothing but the best
b) I hope he’s wearing pants
c) Fucking Jared Leto, man
d) Fuck! Balls! Cock!
Question #7: Henrik Zetterberg performed sexual acts on the Stanley Cup while it was in his possession
c) Possibly, but if he did, he doesn’t remember
d) Trick question: anyone who read the question and actually considered the likelihood of this scenario occurring wants to have sex with Henrik Zetterberg – homo
** Many thanks to the Hockey Hall of Fame and Getty Images for use of the photographs. Don’t sue me. **