MYFO Mormonisms

Nice stems

Who cares if these are bad ideas--nice stems

Welcome to MYFO’s newest weekly monthly semiweekly annual (maybe) recurring feature, MYFO Mormonism. This is a place where we have ideas that sound good in theory, but when we try to put them into practice, they really don’t turn out as well as we hoped. Much like communism. These are ideas that seem funny to us, but we’re not talented enough to make them into full-blown articles. Join your favorite Melt Your Face-Off writers after the jump for our poorly thought out ideas.

Eric Staal signs new contract, plans second bachelor party

Staal, having recently signed a new 58 million dollar contract, planned a second bachelor party today….because the first one ended so well.

Chris Chelios signs a new contract with the Red Wings

Great, now his dumb-ass bar will cause other former Detroit Tigers players to be start bar-room brawls with Deadspinners, only to be murdered with a trident.

Sidney Crosby delivers season tickets to a dedicated female fan

He then, like any good slashfiction star, promptly took off his shirt and cleaned the woman’s pipes. And by cleaned her pipes I mean he had sex with her.

Judge rejects plea deal for former Ducks owner, says “justice is not for sale”

Lies. Obviously, he’s never met Reasonable Doubt.



  1. Oh, the horror of Malkin going to Kate’s to deliver tickets and fix her cable…

  2. @ Turd: “All he said was oh….”

  3. I’m surprised there isn’t a link to Chelios’ passionate decrying of Detroit, saying how he’s NEVER going to play there.


  4. No, you see, if Crosby were in TRUE slashfic, it’d have to be a homosexual experience.

    (door bell rings) “Hey guys, I’m Jordan Staal! Crosby: Oh Jordan, thank God you’re here!
    (door bell rings again) Hey guys, I’m Max Talbot with a hot sexay Quebec pizza!”

  5. Those socks made me think of someone I hadn’t seen in a long time. Thank you, RD.

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