Welcome to MYFO’s newest weekly monthly semi–weekly annual (maybe) recurring feature, MYFO Mormonism. This is a place where we have ideas that sound good in theory, but when we try to put them into practice, they really don’t turn out as well as we hoped. Much like communism. These are ideas that seem funny to us, but we’re not talented enough to make them into full-blown articles. Join your favorite Melt Your Face-Off writers after the jump for our poorly thought out ideas.
Eric Staal signs new contract, plans second bachelor party
Chris Chelios signs a new contract with the Red Wings
Great, now his dumb-ass bar will cause other former Detroit Tigers players to be start bar-room brawls with Deadspinners, only to be murdered with a trident.
Sidney Crosby delivers season tickets to a dedicated female fan
He then, like any good slashfiction star, promptly took off his shirt and cleaned the woman’s pipes. And by cleaned her pipes I mean he had sex with her.
Judge rejects plea deal for former Ducks owner, says “justice is not for sale”
Lies. Obviously, he’s never met Reasonable Doubt.