Season Preview: Nashville Predators

What in the wide wide world of sports is-a-goin’ on here? I hired you people to win the Stanley Cup, not to jump around like a bunch of Kansas City Avery’s!

Important Information

1. As previously reported, Chris Mason’s chromedome has been shipped northwest to St. Louis, leaving Dan Ellis’ hipster bedhead in charge. He was the main reason that the Predators presented the greatest challenge to the Red Wings’ during last year’s playoffs, but let’s see his save percentage after starting 70 games.

2. Jordin Tootoo doesn’t remove his helmet before fighting because he’s a never-nude.

3. Radek Bonk is the best hockey name ever, even if it doesn’t describe his play. Screw you, Jeff Beukeboom!

4. Goal Girl Molly will sue the Predators after Ryan Suter doesn’t stop squirting her with a Gatorade bottle.

5. If Martin Erat lets his hair grow in the back, he’s Brian Engblom’s doppelganger.

Possible MYFO Posts this Year

1. Barry Trotz’s constant battle with moose and sqvuirrel.

2. Jed Ortmeyer’s search for oil.

3. Alex Radulov as Ike Turner. Please forgive Alex, Nashville!

4. Boots del Biaggio starring in a remake of The King of Comedy.

Prediction: As I asked in the Blues preview, how did Nashville improve this season? Losing Radulov and his 25+ goals a season to the motherland and replacing him with nothing? Mason for Ellis is a wash. Erat isn’t worth $3.5 million/year, so he definitely isn’t worth the $5 million + that he’s owed after the 2008-2009 season. Suter and Shea Weber are two great young defensemen, Jason Arnott and JP Dumont will get their 25+ goals this season, but Nashville will need help from the Milwaukee Admirals to fight for a playoff spot.

Song Exemplifying the Predators 2008-2009 Season: Archers of Loaf – “Plumbline”

Much like the Chapel Hill quartet, the 07-08 Preds won’t get enough credit for being a group of lo-fi ragtags who posed the biggest threat to the Red Wings during the playoffs.  Those Sebadoh assholes received all the underground attention.

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1 Comment

  1. I thought Ann Meyers was Brian Engblom’s doppelganger.


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