Season Preview: Pittsburgh Penguins

Another excruciatingly long summer is over. Actual hockey games are on the horizon. Because this is the 265th most widely read hockey blog on the internets, MYFO felt a deep obligation to our dozens of readers to prepare this series of previews telling you about every single team in the NHL. By “prepare” we mean, we found other people to write many of them for us. We were looking for people who (unlike us) might have an actual clue about these teams, but were also eager/willing/dumb/not self-respecting enough to work for free. Within those constraints, we think we did an admirable job.

Today’s preview of Dan Hopper, Contributor to MYFO and Associate Editor of Best Week Ever.

Coping With Cup Finals Grief

For the sake of perfectly applicable argument, let’s say you randomly find yourself fighting in the death tournament from the game Mortal Kombat, and after easily beating down an alcoholic one-legged Canadian man, you end up squaring off against the guy at your job who you’ve always openly hated ever since he got promoted over you even though he’s asinine and incompetent and stole your girlfriend, and you end up ripping his head off, spinal cord still attached. Then in the next round, you face the kid who bullied you from Kindergarten all the way through your senior year of college before marrying and knocking up the prom queen you’ve always had a crush on, and you beat the crap out of him too, then turn into a dragon and bite him in half. Then in the Finals, you lose to the Detroit Red Wings. Who are, I don’t know, Johnny Cage.

Honestly – would you NOT consider that tournament a success?

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EA Sports Thinks Chris Chelios is Old

And now, a personal story from the life of Hex.

One week ago yesterday, our family had a little addition.  Of course, the original expected date was last Tuesday, but waiting an extra 24 hours for something that would bring such joy into the world – it was grueling, but ultimately worth it.  I’m telling you, if you could see the proud smile on my face when we got home for the first time.  Sure, you can anticipate sleeping a lot less, and your eating schedule will become far from regular- but ultimately, much is sacrificed when you bring NHL 09 into your home-

What’s that?  Oh, a baby?  Due the same week EA Sports releases their latest Game of the Year?  You’ve got to plan your pregnancies a little better than that, friendo.

After the jump, a crushing revelation for the oldest blueliner on the Detroit Red Wings.

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