Canadian Press Moves Office to Wikkipeg

In my morning NHL story trolling, I came upon a minor note that the Phoenix Coyotes have added former Sens GM John Muckler to their executives’ box, as he has been anointed the senior adviser to the GM.  To my knowledge, having the role of Senior Advisor to the GM instead of actually being the GM has two perks.  First, you get to stand against the wall in personnel meetings cross-armed and simply nod your approval or disapproval on any potential transaction.  Secondly, you get to ramble on about how hard it was during the war without being told to shut up.  I’m telling you, being old has its perks.

Now I don’t know exactly old Mucks is, but that’s only because the Canadian Press article I pulled from TSN.ca didn’t exactly spell it out.  (I’m lazy.)  But the only reason the Canadian Press article I pulled from TSN.ca didn’t exactly spell it out is because Muckler’s Wikipedia page didn’t do the math for them.

(They’re lazier.)

Yes, it appears when pressed to deadline (read: the Labatts is flowing at the bar down the street), the national Canuckistani news agency chose not to contact the Senators or Coyotes for Muckler bio information and instead got their Wiki on.  Now I’m not saying that hack journalism exists on merely nationalistic lines (LeNoc’s already blown the American whistle on this one).  Here’s a clipping from the TSN story:

And now to the Wiki:

You crafty Northern neighbors.  By shortening professional to pro, and negating to tell us, the public, that Muckler ever was a part owner, you totally passed this off as your own.  Fuck, get these guys a Pulitzer.  Oh, they don’t have Pulitzers in Canada?  Fine, get these guys a harp seal waving.

Moving on, our intrepid bureau reports:

Gee, I wonder what Wikipedia has to say about his Edmonton coaching days.

And what about common courtesy?  If you were going to go the high school senior route and let Wiki write your book report for you, you could have gone the obvious route and updated Muckler’s page with his new job! 

Fuck you guys.  I’m going home and I’m taking my waving harp seal with me.

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4 Comments

  1. awww, that seal is so cute
    and the dude you were talking about is probably already fossilized so it really doesn’t matter how old he is

  2. Wikipedia and Urbandictionary are really the only two research tools you need.

  3. The seal is so CUTE…he’d make a great coat

  4. “First, you get to stand against the wall in personnel meetings cross-armed and simply nod your approval or disapproval on any potential transaction.”

    I can do that. THAT’S MY FUTURE CAREER! Hex as my life coach. What would I do without you?


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