Bert Hall is a douche

While Avery – the league’s biggest agitator – has no reservations when it comes to getting under an opponent’s skin, his former roommate-turned boss has established a limit.

“Just one,” Hull explained to TSN. “(I said) as long as you don’t embarrass the organization, you can do, say or act any way you want.”

And does that include line-crossing trash talk?

“That’s just part of gamesmanship and his personality,” Hull explained. “You’d be surprised how many guys do things like that out there. Someone’s got to be the best and someone’s got to be the worst at everything.”

And what about getting a stick up in a goaltender’s face like he did last spring against Martin Brodeur? “(That’s not acceptable) to me because that’s not the way you play hockey,” Hull told Off the Record. “Why would you want to do that? Why don’t you want to get open and get a shot away? But that was before he was with me.”

Well, la-di-fucking-da, cock knocker. You must know all about winning….when your foot is in the crease!

You don’t like the way I play, huh? I’m too “intense”? I’m “not acceptable”? That’s “not the way you play hockey”? No, asshole, that’s not the way you play hockey. That’s why you got your happy ass benched at the end of your career. You made the effort to sign me for enough money I turned down the chance to bang random Spring Break sluts in Tampa. Now you want to try to change what made me the best damn agitator in this whole fucking league? Fat chance.

Did you get a lot of playoff experience in St. Louis, fagnut? Get a chance to score lots of goals? Oh wait, you had playoff experience on the 19th line in Detroit one year. That must be where you get all this wisdom. It certainly didn’t come when you cheated Buffalo out of that cup.

How about you just sit back, relax, like The King of Cock Knockers win your dumbass franchise another cup while I pull a one-man train on those Ice Girl Sluts you’ve got hanging around here. In the meantime, shut your legend-tainting mouth. Make your Daddy proud for once. Shut up and let real men do the work.



Oh by the way…your daughter just made me her newest friend on Facebook. She’s hot for fifteen years old. I’ll be sure to poke her tonight.

Catch ya later, cookie puss.



  1. The return of hockey means the return of Avery posts. YESSSS.

  2. I agree with Wrap. Hockey season is in full swing now.

    Long live Ice Girl sults. And random Spring Break sluts. And, well you get the idea

  3. OK, I was kinda freaked since the photo of Brett Hull’s daughter almost looks like me and I couldn’t remember that taking place. Then I looked with both eyes and saw I was wrong.

    Good show, old bean!

  4. Don Cherry pretty much made my year after this.

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