The Panthers Trade For an Aviation Trainwreck

Waiting until the end of the news cycle yesterday, the Florida Panthers announced that they have traded defenseman Mike Van Ryn to Toronto for a 4th-round draft pick.  Oh, and some guy named Bryan McCabe.  Because the 4th round pick has yet to be selected, we were unable to obtain an interview with it.  McCabe, on the other hand, is slighty pissed about the cheap shots I’ve taken over the year, but is ready to reconcile.  We tailed him through the Toronto Airport as he made his way to visit his new club in Miami.

My notes, taken on a Cinnabon napkin, are after the jump.

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Uncle Ted Goes Hunting: Canadian Safari

Uncle Ted: My first (sort of) big-game hunt! How thrilling! After my first, successful foray into shooting down sports media people who shortchange me or my club, it’s time for something a little bigger, wouldn’t you say?

Boyd Gordon: Whatever you say, boss. But could you quit swinging that thing around? You’re making me a little nervous. Continue reading

MYFO Editorial: Open Letter to Gary Bettman

We here at MYFO try rarely to be serious about things. We bring the funny. But there are times, such as now, where we stare at a piece of news and can find no humorous slant to take on it, because it’s just infuriating. This summer, we will be introducing a series of Open Letters to personalities around the NHL. As always, much love and respect to the artist formerly known as I Party With Smoot for the artwork. Today, we introduce the first in that series, an Open Letter to Gary Bettman.

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See You on the Fairway: Northwest Edition

Contrary to popular belief, not everybody in the NHL makes the playoffs.  Try as they may, 14 teams ended their hockey-related obligations this weekend after a long, hard year of sucktitude.  We here at MYFO encourage you to erase their substandard play from your collective memory, and join us in wishing them good luck on the golf course starting today.

Next up, Weed Against Speed with the Northwest tee times.

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Hurricanes’ Writer Claims NHL Bias in Favor of Canadian Teams; Actual Results Somewhat Contradictory

Expending the shoe leatherBeing a hockey fan in Carolina can be a somewhat depressing pursuit, one imagines. Just a couple years removed from winning a Stanley Cup, yet none of the big network games in the U.S. feature the Canes. Hockey “experts” rag on the Southeast Division at every opportunity. While the NHL makes sure that Crosby, Ovechkin, Malkin, Sundin, Iginla and Zetterberg get plenty of press, no love gets thrown to Cole and Staal.

You might start to think that the NHL really doesn’t like hockey in Carolina, that they’re just happy to keep collecting money from those NASCAR-lovin’ rubes. You might start to think that the NHL’s disciplinary system is biased against you. Continue reading

The Magical Mystery Tour Continues!

Polar Bears Hockey

As Weed so eloquently laid out for all you slackerjacks yesterday, the NHL has already booked their October travel plans for the 2008-2009 season. Having been to Prague a few years ago, I’ll gladly apply for MYFO’s press credentials from the league when the time comes. I’m sure Gary Bettman will have no problem forking those over.

So it appears that the frontier of the future for the NHL starts with England (they speak like we speak! We’ll be able to understand them when they mispronounce Kostitsyn and Radivojevic like we do!) After that, it’s onward to two nations, Sweden and the Czech Republic, with strong hockey leagues of their own and are an excellent provider of NHL talent. After that, though, the NHL hit a bit of a wall. Because of the Superleague that threatens to retain their own players, Russia and Finland are probably out as destinations. But fear not, fans of global hockey expansion. Gary Bettman has contingencies in mind, and I think you’re going to be more than happy with the result…

…eh?

NHL Plans to Open 2009-2010 season in Canada

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A Token Glance Out West: We Are NOT All Canucks

Precision cartography There is a definite East Coast bias in the MYFO writers lineup. Or possibly a Midwestern bias. But since the westernmost of us is barely a few clicks west of the Mississippi, there hasn’t been a whole lot of focus on those strange hockey teams that play most of their games very late at night. Today, for one day (or a few hours at least), that goes by the wayside. Squarely in the spotlight for your enjoyment today…the Vancouver Canucks.

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