Philadelphia Prepares for the Coming of Yomommaween

Team sources recently revealed that the Flyers’ reserve netminder Antero Niittymaki will be out upwards of six weeks getting a repair on a torn hip labrum.  Excellent timing, Antero.  You spent all summer sitting on your couch in Helsinki playing XBox, and you’ve finally gotten around to healing the one part of you that allows lateral movement when you’re no doubt lying on the ice amidst a chaotic scene in the crease. 

So rather than call up a Phantom to play every seventh game (Marty Biron, you’re going to be busy), the Flyers have further put that cap in danger by signing a real-live NHL goaltender to fill the void.  That’s right, Jean-Sebastien Aubin is coming to town.

Oh, and he’s a heroin addict.

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MYFO’s Completely Cracked Playoff Preview: Montreal VERSUS Boston

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Canadiens fans should be scared shitless right now. Shit. Less. The Habs, on their way to gaining the top seed in the East, beat the Briuns 8 times this year. Eight. Without a loss. Going back a little farther, the Canadiens have owned the Bruins since the day after Cam Neely’s retirement party. The Bruins turn into a puck- chasing pack of 8-year-olds when they line up across from Alex Kovalev & Co.

So why be scared? What’s to worry about? The Habs could start Jaroslav Halak and call up the Hamilton Bulldogs and still win in 6 games, right? Right? Sorry. This is an absolutely classic “trap” series. Here’s a list of 7 things that Canadiens fans can worry about as they wait for the puck to drop tonight. Continue reading

Sheldon Souray Makes a Fine Pie

souraypizzeria.jpgThe Interwebs are possibly mankind’s second-greatest invention (the greatest, obviously, is that shave gel that protects from nicks and cuts). It is a gift that keeps on giving. Without the Interwebs, I probably would never have known that Oilers D-man Sheldon Souray is part-owner of a Montreal pizzeria with Martin Brodeur (pictured, right).

“Well, so what,” you ask. Big fucking deal. “He may be the owner of a successful pizzeria, but how would he fare cooking one?” That’s the exact same question the somber Canadian voiceover guy asked in this unintentionally hilarious video. (Apologies for the lack of imbed, but NHL.tv makes that tougher than my meager tech skills can handle) SPOILER ALERT: Souray does not actually cook the pizzeria. Damn misleading Canadians. But if you want to know how a big-time Montreal restaurateur makes his own personal pie, here are the highlights: Continue reading

Sharks’ Media Relations Staffer Has ‘Weak Brain’

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A few NHL teams have experimented with one or more of their players writing a “blog” once a week or so. Although it is probably more likely that some team media relations person actually does the blogging after a 45-second conversation with the player. The Sharks’ Marcel Goc, however, just might be writing his own material.

Goc is apparently an avid chess player. He describes how he regularly beats team Media Relations and Travel Coordinator staffer Ryan Stenn, because Stenn has a “weak brain.” Marcel, word of advice: don’t rag on the Travel Coordinator. That’s a surefire path to your room on the road ending up next to the ice machine, every time. Other tidbits from that nutty Marcel:

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Goon of the Week: Denis Savard

Quebec’s Greatest Male Porn Star

It’s not easy for a coach to be named Goon of the Week. Especially a coach like Denis Savard, a wispy, ice-dancing forward during his NHL career. Although he didn’t invent the move, Savard patented the “spinorama” during his career, mostly with the Blackhawks. Now the head coach of that same team, Savard pulled a move on New Year’s Day that would have made Stu Grimson and Mike Peluso proud. And, considering the game was on the West Coast and televised on the NHL Network (via FSN West), I’m guessing most of you missed it. Continue reading

Looking Back from His Lawn Chair of Doom

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As the Flyers’ fan on the MYFO bench, it makes the most sense for me to take the shift that commemorates Eric Lindros’ retirement from hockey.  However, I just don’t have the energy or the actual interest to do so.  So rather than pretending to skate hard on this one (think Jagr-on-the-Captials), I’m going to take MYFO’s look back on the Big E in a different direction.  After all, every other blog will talk about his career with Philly, his fall out with Bobby Clarke, his limited success after leaving the Orange and Black, and how so much potential went to waste over a 13 year career.

We’re going to pretend it never even happened.

I’m not suggesting a world where Eric Lindros never played in the NHL.  That’s silly.  With so much hype coming out of juniors, it would be impossible to pretend that he never made it to the pros.  Unless the Oshawa Generals enforced military rule after bad games.  That would have rocked.  Even as a teen, he was one unneccessary roughing minor from being on the receiving end of a locker room Code Red.  The question I pose today, to uh, myself, is as follows:

What if Quebec traded Eric Lindros to the New York Rangers?

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It’s All About the Skates

perron.jpgBack in training camp, yours truly was somewhat dismissive of the prospects of a certain chirpy Quebecois, 2007 first-rounder David Perron, to make the leap from Lewiston MAINEiac to St. Louis Blue. Well, Perron did make the team, just as he so brashly predicted. So, LeNoceur is going to eat a little crow, right?

As they say in Quebec City, “Not fucking likely.” Regular readers will recall that my main knock against Perron was the fact that he wore white skates, which seemed a little too, well, fancy for a 19-year-old hoping to crack an NHL roster. Blues Head Coach Andy Murray must be a MYFO reader (hey, Coach!), because he immediately set Perron (and his skates) straight: Continue reading