Jeremy Jacobs Remakes the Bruins Part II

Jeremy Jacobs: Beautiful morning, isn’t it, Quincy?

Quincy: Sir.

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MYFO’s (P)friday Perfunctory Photo Pop Probatory

I've Got It Bad, Got It Bad, Got It Bad

I've Got It Bad, Got It Bad, Got It Bad...

Welcome to another edition of MYFO’s (P)friday Perfunctory Photo Pop Probatory. Every Friday Whenever the hell I feel like it, I will put up a photo or two and ask a few multiple choice questions. This time we take a look at some photos from July 17th and 18th, when Mike Babcock took Lord Stanley’s Cup on an all-expenses paid trip to Saskatoon. The quiz…begins…now.

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Gary Bettman: Great Commissioner? Or GREATEST COMMISSIONER EVER?

The NHL owners are conducting one of their periodic performance reviews of NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman. Some observers speculate that, despite earning exceptional marks during his entire 15-year run, Bettman could be in for a rough ride this time around. Or not.

Craig Leipold: All right, everyone, take your seats please. It’s time to get this special meeting of the National Hockey League Robber Barons Owners Association started. Today’s sole agenda item: a resolution thanking Commissioner Gary Bettman for his years of dedicated service to the league.

Charles Wang: Does this mean we’re firing him?

Leipold: What? No. Why?

Wang: It’s just that sometimes you thank people for their service at the same time security is hauling them out the door. That’s what I did with Ted Nolan. It adds that personal touch, you know?

Leipold: Well, let the debate begin! The chair recognizes…himself! Continue reading

Discussion Materials Regarding Sexual Favors of Melt Your Face Off

These discussion materials are posted for hot bitches to use in considering various erotic endeavors to perform on the editors of Melt Your Face Off (“MYFO”). In all cases, interested women should not conduct their own investigation, as everything this paper presents is truer than the pope defecating on an altar boy who is peeing on the Koran.

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Jeremy Jacobs Remakes the Bruins Part I

Jeremy Jacobs: Quincy, where’s my coffee? I can’t make snap decisions without a fresh cup of joe!

Quincy: On its way, sir.

Phone rings

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Mike Keenan’s Enforcer

Gather ‘round, sorry excuse for embers!

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The Chuckle Hut Presents the Comedy Stylings of Kevin “Laughmaster” Lowe!

Hey, everybody! Thanks for having me out to the Chuckle Hut! I’m a little new at the comedy game. I spend most of my time being a champion and pissing excellence. But with my track record, I’m sure I’ll be a winner at this, too.

Check out this crowd. What a bunch of inbreeds. Can you people count to six? I can, with just one hand. No, I’m not a mutant, like certain California-dwelling morons. No, I just had my last Stanley Cup ring sized EXTRA FREAKING LARGE and outfitted with a clit-flicker. It’s like my old buddy Mac-T always says–women are like carpet; lay ’em right the first time, and you can walk all over them for years. Am I right, or am I right? Continue reading