The First Day of the Rest of Your Life

Paul: No more skating, no more hooks, no more Leafs’ fans dirty looks! Yay! What do you guys wanna do?

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False Hope

 

Paul Maurice: My stomach doesn’t feel as bad as it once did. Weeks of cottage cheese, strained peas, and electrolytes have appeased my poor digestive tract. There’s still a lingering sensation of indigestion hovering around my duodenum. Will I ever fully recover? Ohhh, am I ever going to be rid of this?

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Eight Helpings of Diaretics

 

Paul Maurice: Oh fuck, my stomach hurts.

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My Nuts are Killing Me

Paul Maurice: Unnnnnnnnnnhhhh. God that’s annoying. Feels like Pat Verbeek is tugging on my spermatic cord. Just go away, stop.

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