The Most Important Election on July 17

I love masturbation.  There’s nothing like reaching down my pants and scoring against myself (“Steve Smithing” should be slang for this act).  However, I’m not a whiteout machine; there are only so many times I can pull on my knob.  What can I do while waiting for a reload?

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What Kind of Idiots Launch a Hockey Blog in the Dead of Summer?

Yeah, well, that was us, exactly one year ago. Many of you, we suspect, weren’t around back when this humble little post got things started. It’s like a time capsule! That was like, three banners and several dozen editors and contributors ago! (Hint: I wouldn’t bother sending an email to the address in the post and trying to get yourself hooked up as an editor.)

Here we stand, however, the Final Five Editors. Our faces are not known. But, thanks to the all-bountiful series of tubes, all of our idiot musings last forever, or at least until the FBI shuts down WordPress. Follow us as we re-live MYFO’s rise from complete obscurity to the 256th-most-read hockey blog in North America (Canada excluded).

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It Really Is Always Sunny in SoCal

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It’s a Madhouse!

You are the PR director for the LA Kings. It’s been a tough season, and really the only thing your fans have to look forward to is the draft lottery (again). Yet, you still have a responsibility to churn out positive-sounding blog items on the team page. So what do you do?

Why, spin away like James Carville on a meth bender, of course. “COMPARED TO LAST YEAR: The Kings, in several categories, have surpassed totals from last season.” Continue reading

Sharks’ Media Relations Staffer Has ‘Weak Brain’

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A few NHL teams have experimented with one or more of their players writing a “blog” once a week or so. Although it is probably more likely that some team media relations person actually does the blogging after a 45-second conversation with the player. The Sharks’ Marcel Goc, however, just might be writing his own material.

Goc is apparently an avid chess player. He describes how he regularly beats team Media Relations and Travel Coordinator staffer Ryan Stenn, because Stenn has a “weak brain.” Marcel, word of advice: don’t rag on the Travel Coordinator. That’s a surefire path to your room on the road ending up next to the ice machine, every time. Other tidbits from that nutty Marcel:

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