MYFO’s Open Letter Series: In Which LeNoceur Defends the Honor of Ice Girls Everywhere

Dear uptight bloggers and Internet commenters who start insulting Ice Girls all willy-nilly:

You’ve hurt me, more than words can say. If you’re going to dis Ice Girls, fine, just do it in an orderly fashion, thank you very much. Righteous anger, like one’s concentration during cunnilingus, should be tightly focused. It does no one any good to just start slopping your tongue all over the place.

Ice Girls, especially, don’t deserve this treatment. Ice Girls represent, if not the pinnacle, at least a lofty crag on the mountain of hockey enjoyment. Let me explain: I like sports. I like ladies. These are sportsladies! Hooray! They have my whole-hearted support. But not everyone is such a fan. Continue reading

Advertisements

Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Dan Hinote

I’ll admit it. I am a fan of a lame-ass hockey franchise. But even the lame have to have some standards. Right? Help me out here, people.

The St. Louis Blues are so starved for star power (sorry Chris Mason, but I don’t think you qualify) that they are hyping the marriage of fourth-liner/press box regular Dan Hinote to Amy McCarthy, in an apparent attempt to get some PR mileage out of the connection to her has-been semi-celebriskanky sister Jenny.

Continue reading

The Chuckle Hut Presents the Comedy Stylings of Kevin “Laughmaster” Lowe!

Hey, everybody! Thanks for having me out to the Chuckle Hut! I’m a little new at the comedy game. I spend most of my time being a champion and pissing excellence. But with my track record, I’m sure I’ll be a winner at this, too.

Check out this crowd. What a bunch of inbreeds. Can you people count to six? I can, with just one hand. No, I’m not a mutant, like certain California-dwelling morons. No, I just had my last Stanley Cup ring sized EXTRA FREAKING LARGE and outfitted with a clit-flicker. It’s like my old buddy Mac-T always says–women are like carpet; lay ’em right the first time, and you can walk all over them for years. Am I right, or am I right? Continue reading

Never trust a cock knocker with your cell phone

I should have fucking known better.

Continue reading

Get On the Snake, or Get Out!

 

Our performance last night was atrocious. You figure that a group of professionals would go out there and give it their all for a team. I’m not saying that fealty is necessary, but I’d expect some measure of effort and interest in your job.

Continue reading