After a lengthy hiatus, MYFO is pleased to finally present the third installment of our “NHL Mascots: Exposed” series, where we take a closer look at those perky purveyors of performance art and attempt to ascertain what makes them tick. But be forewarned: the life of a mascot is not always a pretty one. The road to the top, as these fine examples of arena entertainment surely have trekked, is fraught with detours, some more shameful than others. Enjoy.
TO: Flyers GM Paul Holmgren
FROM: Larry Pleau, Cliff Fletcher, Dean Lombardi, Kevin Lowe, Jacques Martin, Don Maloney, Garth Snow
Way to go. You took your team from a laughingstock to the conference finals. Outhouse to the penthouse, baby. Last in the NHL overall in 2006-07, and now you get a chance to complete knocking off the top 3 seeds in the East to make it to the Cup Finals.
You fucking asshole.
“Here, Raskolnikov. Move these two-thousand malbecs. There’s an email offer tomorrow.”