Gary Bettman: Great Commissioner? Or GREATEST COMMISSIONER EVER?

The NHL owners are conducting one of their periodic performance reviews of NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman. Some observers speculate that, despite earning exceptional marks during his entire 15-year run, Bettman could be in for a rough ride this time around. Or not.

Craig Leipold: All right, everyone, take your seats please. It’s time to get this special meeting of the National Hockey League Robber Barons Owners Association started. Today’s sole agenda item: a resolution thanking Commissioner Gary Bettman for his years of dedicated service to the league.

Charles Wang: Does this mean we’re firing him?

Leipold: What? No. Why?

Wang: It’s just that sometimes you thank people for their service at the same time security is hauling them out the door. That’s what I did with Ted Nolan. It adds that personal touch, you know?

Leipold: Well, let the debate begin! The chair recognizes…himself! Continue reading

What Kind of Idiots Launch a Hockey Blog in the Dead of Summer?

Yeah, well, that was us, exactly one year ago. Many of you, we suspect, weren’t around back when this humble little post got things started. It’s like a time capsule! That was like, three banners and several dozen editors and contributors ago! (Hint: I wouldn’t bother sending an email to the address in the post and trying to get yourself hooked up as an editor.)

Here we stand, however, the Final Five Editors. Our faces are not known. But, thanks to the all-bountiful series of tubes, all of our idiot musings last forever, or at least until the FBI shuts down WordPress. Follow us as we re-live MYFO’s rise from complete obscurity to the 256th-most-read hockey blog in North America (Canada excluded).

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Meta MYFO: Losing an Editor, Gaining a Contributor

Hey gang. We wanted to announce this after last night’s live blog so the Original Gang of Five could finish on a high note.

This will be my last day as an editor for Melt Your Face-Off.

Unfortunately, my work schedule has escalated to the point where my lack of contribution is visible even among our casual readers. Rather than allowing the blog to suffer by an absentee Editor, I’m voluntarily giving up my place and becoming a Contributor. I may or may not be back next season, depending on whether the Lightning decide to field a competitive team again.

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Forsberg Contemplates Shitting, Getting Off Pot

goodnight-sweet-prince.jpgAfter weeks of breathless Peter Forsberg updates–he’s going to Philly! No, Nashville! No, he’s staying retired! But wait!–you would think the entire hockey media would take a collective break. Maybe a couple weeks without typing “Foppa,” two weeks without running a photo of his chiseled Swedish face.

Alas, it seems we are doomed to be treated to more breathless updates. Sure, he’s signed with Colorado. But will he play tonight? Or won’t he? He’s still undecided. *Coughattentionwhorecough*. Continue reading

The Impact of the Forsberg Signing on the Avalanche

The Swedish Chef is the Avalanche. The chicken is the team they face in the first round of the playoffs.

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