Fighting In Hockey? Not Just for the Boys Anymore!

FightCamp

Earlier today on the Minneapolis Star Tribune’s web site, a story was posted involving violence and a potentially serious injury that occurred at a high school hockey game in Northern Minnesota. Apparently, things got a little chippy after a whistle and a little fracas broke out. Oh sure, you’ve heard it all before, right? Well, this time it’s different: it was a girl’s high school hockey game.

On January 26th, in the waning seconds of a 3-2 game between International Falls and Moose Lake-Willow River, sophmore forward Kim Ergen was seriously injured, even experiencing temporary paralysis after a fight broke out in front of the International Falls goal.

Now we can’t stand idly by and allow things like this to happen and I think I may have the solution: The First Annual Boogaard Fighting Camp For Girls! Continue reading

The Big Byng Theory

chandlerbing.jpg“Could this BE anymore obvious?”

Recently named an All-Star starter, Detroit Red Wings centerman Pavel Datsyuk is enjoying a very nice season.  He plays on the top line of the best team in the league and his name has been floated lately in very premature Hart Trophy discussions.  Not bad for a 6th-round choice, eh?  Now we here at MYFO aren’t questioning Datsyuk’s ability to give a full effort in the name of the team every night, but it’s been 5 long years since the Cup has come to Motown.  That was his rookie season.  Pavel, if you’re reading this, we’re onto you.  If you really wanted more Cups for the Red Wings, you could have earned them by now.  Instead, you’re more interested in personal accolades.  And you’ve won your share, no doubt.  After all, you are the two-time defending recipient of the Lady Byng Award, a trophy that honors a player adjudged to have exhibited the best type of sportsmanship and gentlemanly conduct with a high standard of playing ability.

Long story short, MYFO Nation.  Pavel Datsyuk is out to win his third-straight Lady Byng, and it’s our job to STOP HIM.

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Have a Glass of Port with Derek Boogaard

The ContinentalAh! My wonderful one! I see you received my message! I hope my invitation did not distress you. What is important is you are here…with me, tonight. As you may already know from speaking with others in the neighborhood, I am a professional athlete with the local hockey troupe, the Minnesota Wild. Perhaps the fact that I am wearing my hockey sweater tipped you off. Aha, your wisdom is only exceeded by your beauty. Oh my, I have not formally introduced myself. My name is Derek Boogaard and it is a divine pleasure to make your acquaintance. Continue reading

An Open Letter To Mattias Ohlund, Matt Cooke, Ryan Kesler And Alex Burrows

Boogey Kicking Ass

Dear Fucksticks,

How’s it goin’, douchebags? Derek Boogaard here. Just wanted to drop you a note to let you know how much I am looking forward to the game tonight. Hey Mattias, last Friday night and what you did to my man Mikko? That shit ain’t right, man. A two-handed slash? That’s a fucking cunt move and you know it, you fucking peter-puffer. I s’pose the NHL was pretty smart in suspending your faggoty-ass for tonight’s game because I’m pretty angry right now and just like The Incredible Hulk, you ain’t gonna like me when I’m angry.

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Open Letter to Joey Russo and Barry Melrose

Dear Cuntrags,

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Boogaard Will Take On Each And Every One Of You Motherfu**ers

Boogeyman

It has been a relatively slow day here at MYFO. It appears every writer must be recovering from the weekend and exorcising any demons (real or imagined) their respective debauchery summoned. Myself, I am not at liberty to say until I find out whether or not charges will be filed regarding “the incident in question”.

Speaking of demons, the Wild had some of their own to deal with last night in their first meeting with the Ducks since they were physically manhandled and overpowered by Anaheim in the first round of last season’s playoffs. In that series Brad May committed what I would call a cheap shot (but I’m a Wild fan) on Kim Johnsson, knocking him unconscious as well as knocking him out of the playoff series.

The Wild were victorious last night, blanking the Ducks 2-0, but I think we all knew what was going – check that – had to happen the first time these teams met up this season.

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Making Puck: Regression To The Mean

sundin101107_250x325_leafs.jpg

This was a night for streaking teams to stumble, for slow starters to get a little tailwind, and for somebody to be on the receiving end of a really, really bad mood.

Do shutouts count against the Thrashers this season? Buffalo needed to get their swagger back, so they went out and took it from Atlanta and their weak-sauce offense. Ryan Miller only needed 20 saves for the shutout, and six different Sabres scored goals. The most the Thrashers could brag about was Ilya Kovalchuk totally ruining his chances for the Lady Byng.

Carolina cloture vote ends Ottawa fillibuster. I’m using my one permitted team name pun here, only because I don’t think I’ve ever used the word “cloture” in a sentence before. And no, I don’t give a damn if Canadian parliamentary rules have the concept or not. The American team won, so I’m showing you how we do things inside the Beltway.

The final stage of being a hockey player in South Florida is acceptance. Tomas Vokoun has worked through the stages of being a Panther, and hung a bagel on the New Jersey Devils. The rare, but entertaining, “abusive language” minor penalty makes an appearance on the score sheet. You kiss your mother with that mouth, Aaron Asham?

Can’t tell your Coyotes goalies without a scorecard! It was Alex Auld’s turn between the pipes, and he helped deliver Phoenix’s first win of the season over the Predators. I’ll let my old buddy The Forechecker tell you about Colin Campbell’s Headache Of The Night.

Now that’s how you bounce back from a beating. The Leafs shelled Wade Dubielewicz for 8 goals, and Mats Sundin scored his 390th goal and 917th point, breaking the Maple Leafs team records held by Darryl Sittler. There is no truth to the rumor that Sittler had an assist taken away from Sundin in the second period, but the official scorer was heard to mutter something about “naked”, “steamer trunk”, and “Rideau Canal” as he walked to his car after the game.

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