I think she's legal in this photo
Another excruciatingly long summer is (almost) over. Actual hockey games are on the horizon. Because this is the 265th most widely read hockey blog on the internets, MYFO felt a deep obligation to our dozens of readers to prepare this series of previews telling you about every single team in the NHL. By “prepare” we mean, we found other people to write many of them for us. We were looking for people who (unlike us) might have an actual clue about these teams, but were also eager/willing enough to work for free. Within those constraints, we think we did an admirable job.
Today’s preview of the Dallas Stars is brought to you by frequent MYFO commenter MNHLE. We would link to MNHLE’s other work, but we promised him (or her) that s/he could remain anonymous. Don’t worry, “Pat,” your secret is safe with us.
It’s time to take a closer look into one of the NHL’s most popular markets. That habitual hotbed of hockey, the first team below the Mason Dixon line to take home a Stanley Cup. Home to big hair, toddler beauty pageants, steers, queers, high school football, and Dawson’s famous “I don’t want your life.” The jewel of the Lone Star state, Dallas Texas. Continue reading
Hold on there, self. Just stay composed, we’re only down 2-1, we’re playing a great game, everything’s cool. Except that we can’t express our true image …
Hey there, crossover fans of 1980s nostalgia and sports! Remember those wacky Garbage Pail Kids that used to be all the rage? The burgeoning hipster’s response to the tyranny of Cabbage Patch? Well, we here at MYFO and those zany characters over at Food Court Lunch sure do. Heck, when we were kids our dresser was a literal collage of GPK and baseball stickers. It was the only place one could find Wade Boggs next to Smelly Sally. Well, maybe not the only place. But for the most part, outside of the bedroom furniture and shoeboxes of pre-pubescent boys, Garbage Pail Kids and sports were wholly unrelated.
Or so we thought.
Turns out, the folks over at Garbage Pail Headquarters (which we both hope and assume is a building shaped like a large trash can) proved to be not only masters of delicious puns and booger-artistry, but sporting soothsayers as well. In some cases, their predictions were downright…eerie.
The guys over at Food Court Lunch have the lowdown for most sports. After the jump, we take on hockey.
Prepare to have your mind blown, not unlike this guy.
Lidstrom: Did you get the slumpbuster?