Season Preview: Dallas Stars

I think she's legal in this photo

I think she's legal in this photo

Another excruciatingly long summer is (almost) over. Actual hockey games are on the horizon. Because this is the 265th most widely read hockey blog on the internets, MYFO felt a deep obligation to our dozens of readers to prepare this series of previews telling you about every single team in the NHL. By “prepare” we mean, we found other people to write many of them for us. We were looking for people who (unlike us) might have an actual clue about these teams, but were also eager/willing enough to work for free. Within those constraints, we think we did an admirable job.

Today’s preview of the Dallas Stars is brought to you by frequent MYFO commenter MNHLE. We would link to MNHLE’s other work, but we promised him (or her) that s/he could remain anonymous. Don’t worry, “Pat,” your secret is safe with us.

It’s time to take a closer look into one of the NHL’s most popular markets. That habitual hotbed of hockey, the first team below the Mason Dixon line to take home a Stanley Cup. Home to big hair, toddler beauty pageants, steers, queers, high school football, and Dawson’s famous “I don’t want your life.” The jewel of the Lone Star state, Dallas Texas. Continue reading

Mike and Willa Meet a New Teammate

Willa: Oh, Mike. What a romantic evening. I never noticed the subtle nuances of Brendan Fraser’s dunderheadedness!

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Another Boring Glenn Anderson Monologue

Mike: Alright, honey. Let’s try this again. None of those nosey assholes are anywhere near the house.

Willa: Well, OK.

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Bring on Angola!

Apparently, if you can arrange so that your biggest draws in your league can advance to your Finals, even 4-letter Connecticuttian media hegemons will take notice.

Special to ESPN.com (meaning ESPN.com thinks he’s retarded), Damien Cox penned an article the other night that likens everyone’s favorite hockey savior to our version of Larry Bird.  And since every doofy comparison requires a Magic, it appears that our friend OVIE TIME has won the right to play the Laker on ice.  Bird and Magic = Crosby and Ovechkin?  Sigh.  Damien Cox, if you wanted to create an obtuse analogy, you would have done the following.

MYFO Presents: The 2008 NHL Dream Team (now, with less Laettner!) Continue reading

They’re Everywhere

Bob: Welcome back to Mike Modano’s bedroom. No score so far, but Modano’s looking to change that. How are you going to get on the board, Mike?

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