Bert Hall is a douche

While Avery – the league’s biggest agitator – has no reservations when it comes to getting under an opponent’s skin, his former roommate-turned boss has established a limit.

“Just one,” Hull explained to TSN. “(I said) as long as you don’t embarrass the organization, you can do, say or act any way you want.”

And does that include line-crossing trash talk?

“That’s just part of gamesmanship and his personality,” Hull explained. “You’d be surprised how many guys do things like that out there. Someone’s got to be the best and someone’s got to be the worst at everything.”

And what about getting a stick up in a goaltender’s face like he did last spring against Martin Brodeur? “(That’s not acceptable) to me because that’s not the way you play hockey,” Hull told Off the Record. “Why would you want to do that? Why don’t you want to get open and get a shot away? But that was before he was with me.”

Well, la-di-fucking-da, cock knocker. You must know all about winning….when your foot is in the crease!

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Mike and Willa Meet a New Teammate

Willa: Oh, Mike. What a romantic evening. I never noticed the subtle nuances of Brendan Fraser’s dunderheadedness!

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MYFO Open Letter Series: Sean Avery gets the Sean Avery Treatment

Yanno, I’m a pretty patient guy. I bide my time. I wait my turn. I give people plenty of room on the interstate when they decide to cut me off.

Which is why when I spent months building Sean Avery into hockey’s badass every chance I could (and I beat that motherfucking horse to death over and over), I didn’t fly off the handle when he decided to intern at Vogue this summer. Hell, I didn’t even do a post on it. But some things, even I cannot stand.

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Everything IS bigger in Texas

Hey Pac-Man…go fuck yourself. Debbie will be doing ME tonight.

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Penthouse Forum’s Letter of the Month

Dear Penthouse Forum,

I know this is going to sound like a crazy fantasy but every word of this story is true.

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Welcome to MYFO’s (P)friday Perfunctory Photo Pop Probatory

In what we hope will be a recurring feature here on MYFO during the long and winding road that is the offseason, we welcome you to MYFO’s (P)friday Perfunctory Photo Pop Probatory. Every Friday, we will put up a photo and ask a few multiple choice questions. First up, a photo of Sean Avery, in what could likely be the most ridiculous outfit a man has ever worn. So sharpen your pencil, keep your eyes on your own paper and meet me after the jump.

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It’s an Honor Just to Be Patronized

(First off, do not underestimate the power of the live blog.  See the post below this for details.)

You have to love tonight’s Awards Show, or any award show for that matter.  All we’re doing is bestowing honors on people for being great at what they do for a living.  Here’s what you don’t realize – they already know they’re great.  They don’t need shiny pointy things to prove it.  So sure, you can celebrate their greatness, as well as the two also-rans who have to clap politely as the winners ascend that glorious staircase of achievement. 

Speaking of which, the process of releasing official nominees to the public seems unnecessary, no?  After all, the league is merely identifying the second and third best players at a respective skill.  It’s a little known fact that the NHL actually ranks ALL eligible players in each category from first to last.  They may only let us know the top three, but I assure the people of MYFO, they’ve got it itemized right down to the very worst player.

Today we celebrate those very worst players with the 1st Annual NHL Lasties, probably brought to you by Edge Shave Gel and those Creepy Jet Pack Girls who Fly Up Your Nose.

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