Season Preview: St. Louis Blues

Eero Saarinen modeled the Gateway Arch after his facial expression while watching the Blues play last year.

Important Information

1. The addition of Chris Mason to the goaltending corps will provide a solid veteran presence between the pipes not seen since Manny Legace in 2007-2008. Mason’s signing means goodbye to the Finnish Flop Hannu Toivonen. That isn’t a goalie’s name; it’s a Professor Frink exclamation.

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Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Dan Hinote

I’ll admit it. I am a fan of a lame-ass hockey franchise. But even the lame have to have some standards. Right? Help me out here, people.

The St. Louis Blues are so starved for star power (sorry Chris Mason, but I don’t think you qualify) that they are hyping the marriage of fourth-liner/press box regular Dan Hinote to Amy McCarthy, in an apparent attempt to get some PR mileage out of the connection to her has-been semi-celebriskanky sister Jenny.

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Where the Party At? Western Conference Edition

The NHL Draft isn’t like the ones held by the NBA or the NFL.  Work up whatever fervor you like; 98.9 percent of the the teens and foreigners awkwardly pronounced behind a podium won’t be making an impact on your favorite team this season.  But hey, some people like to celebrate this sort of stuff, and many NHL teams want to help.  So join MYFO in our rundown of all the league’s DRAFT PARTIES.  Just don’t blame us when the prick in the back makes the jukebox blare Journey right when your team is about to pick.

Today, the Western Conference.

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Congratulations! You’re a Lame Duck!

Larry Pleau has been the general manager of the St. Louis Blues since 1997. That’s a long time to be the GM for one franchise in any sport. He even survived a change in ownership. And he’ll be sticking around a little while longer–yesterday, the Blues announced that Pleau had received a two-year contract extension.

Of course, at the same time, the Blues announced that they had already hired Pleau’s replacement, former Stars GM Doug Armstrong. Now that’s some succession planning! Continue reading

Former Greats and Scott Young to Collectively Break Hip

Every year around this time, in the midst of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, the IIHF holds their annual World Championships.  Why?  We’re not exactly sure.  After all, it’s the best teams of the NHL that make the playoffs, and there’s a damn good chance that they are the best teams because they have the best players.  So why not hold a World Championships which will prove once and for all which country is the best in a tourney of above-average hockey players?  Let’s do it!!!!

This will continue until Korea shocks the world and wins the damn thing.  Richard Park is a Golden God.

But just because national honor is at stake in a series of sub-NHL caliber hockey games doesn’t mean we can’t celebrate the sport.  And is there a better way to celebrate the sport than old hockey players playing in an Alumni Game?  After the jump, we look at match-up, forget the names of our grandkids, and fall asleep in front of the TV by 4pm.

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See You on the Fairway: Central Edition

A well manicured fairway

Contrary to popular belief, not everybody in the NHL makes the playoffs. Try as they may, 14 teams ended their hockey-related obligations this weekend after a long, hard year of sucktitude. We here at MYFO encourage you to erase their substandard play from your collective memory, and join us in wishing them good luck on the golf course starting today.

LeNoceur has the Central Division’s tee times. Continue reading

Douche War: St. Louis at Buffalo

Johnson_Pominville

 God, I would like to thank you for ensuring that the SI’s Pop Culture Grid editor doesn’t have the athlete rolodex of Peters Gammons and King.  Because of their limited reach, their ability to trot out a feature of inane questions asked to middling athletes has once again included 2, yes 2! NHL players in this week’s edition.  So in the name of all Features Recurring, it’s time for…

This Week’s Douche-Off!!!

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