Canadian Press Moves Office to Wikkipeg

In my morning NHL story trolling, I came upon a minor note that the Phoenix Coyotes have added former Sens GM John Muckler to their executives’ box, as he has been anointed the senior adviser to the GM.  To my knowledge, having the role of Senior Advisor to the GM instead of actually being the GM has two perks.  First, you get to stand against the wall in personnel meetings cross-armed and simply nod your approval or disapproval on any potential transaction.  Secondly, you get to ramble on about how hard it was during the war without being told to shut up.  I’m telling you, being old has its perks.

Now I don’t know exactly old Mucks is, but that’s only because the Canadian Press article I pulled from TSN.ca didn’t exactly spell it out.  (I’m lazy.)  But the only reason the Canadian Press article I pulled from TSN.ca didn’t exactly spell it out is because Muckler’s Wikipedia page didn’t do the math for them.

(They’re lazier.)

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Season Preview: Phoenix Coyotes

Thank your own personal deity, hockey season is right around the corner (personally, I attend the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster). I have eschewed previewing my beloved Blues, for the simple reason that I can’t find anything funny to say about them anymore. Losing Doug Weight again was harder on me than I thought it would be.

The Coyotes. The Dogs of the Desert. The Grinders from Glendale. The Team Formerly Known as the Jets (Little known fact: Mikkel Boedker has “Slave” tattooed on his left ass cheek). Why are the Coyotes first, you ask? Because they were the first one done. In this post, to help you understand what the 2008-09 NHL season has in store for the Coyotes, I will tell you absolutely everything I know about the current state of the franchise. Continue reading

NHL Mascots: Exposed! (Volume V)

Welcome to another installment of MYFO’s NHL Mascots: Exposed! Series. I am confident that by now you all know the routine, so let’s just get to it, shall we?

One caveat: as has been the case with other volumes, we are dealing with mascots, so things can get a little hairy, literally and figuratively, so be forewarned.

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Where the Party At? Western Conference Edition

The NHL Draft isn’t like the ones held by the NBA or the NFL.  Work up whatever fervor you like; 98.9 percent of the the teens and foreigners awkwardly pronounced behind a podium won’t be making an impact on your favorite team this season.  But hey, some people like to celebrate this sort of stuff, and many NHL teams want to help.  So join MYFO in our rundown of all the league’s DRAFT PARTIES.  Just don’t blame us when the prick in the back makes the jukebox blare Journey right when your team is about to pick.

Today, the Western Conference.

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Going Gently Into That Warm Summer: Pacific Division

MYFO bids farewell to those teams who were unfortunate (read: untalented) to not make the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Here’s what the losing teams in the Pacific Division have to look forward to next year:

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Creative Marketing Genius Ideas to Push NHL to New Heights of Popularity

pierre.jpg

Every year, the NHL recognizes individual team marketing campaigns that break the mold. These campaigns go outside the penalty box to expand the NHL’s reach into the North American sports consciousness, raising the sport’s profile and roping in thousands of new fans who, once they are suckered in by the initial gimmick, will surely become lifelong revenue sources.This year, the winning campaign was from the Phoenix Coyotes. Their campaign, centered around “Pierre the Fanatic Hockey Snowman” (pictured above) has led to the Coyotes averaging 14,616 in attendance thus far in 2007-08, good for 29th-best in the league. Congratulations?

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Phoenix Coyotes “Game Night”: Kind of Like “Date Night” Except You Don’t Have to Hang Out With Your Wife

Game Night

On Sunday, March 9th, the Phoenix Coyotes are holding “Game Night” at the always hip and happeining Dave and Buster’s in Phoenix, where for the paltry fee of $50 for adults ($25 for kids), those in attendance will be able to square off against their favorite Coyotes players in various recreational pursuits. Take it away, Phoenix Coyotes Official Website:

“The opportunity to take on Shane Doan in Air Hockey, or Keith Ballard in Bowling is something that has fans honing their skills across the valley. Who wouldn’t want to tell their friends that they beat Dan Carcillo at Golden Tee?”

Indeed. I cannot think of a better way to spend a Sunday afternoon – in Phoenix – well, other than being outside, I guess. Or drinking. Or drinking and being outside.

“Game Night” is nevertheless still a great marketing gimmick. More teams should follow the Coyotes’ lead and schedule game nights where fans can mingle with the players and take them on in their favorite bar game.

So, the question is: if you could play an NHL player or personality in any sort of bar game, what would it be? Or how about a video game, lawn game or even a board game?

I have a few ideas…

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