Philadelphia Prepares for the Coming of Yomommaween

Team sources recently revealed that the Flyers’ reserve netminder Antero Niittymaki will be out upwards of six weeks getting a repair on a torn hip labrum.  Excellent timing, Antero.  You spent all summer sitting on your couch in Helsinki playing XBox, and you’ve finally gotten around to healing the one part of you that allows lateral movement when you’re no doubt lying on the ice amidst a chaotic scene in the crease. 

So rather than call up a Phantom to play every seventh game (Marty Biron, you’re going to be busy), the Flyers have further put that cap in danger by signing a real-live NHL goaltender to fill the void.  That’s right, Jean-Sebastien Aubin is coming to town.

Oh, and he’s a heroin addict.

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Season Preview: Los Angeles Kings

The Kings...so bad it's not even funny

The Kings...so bad it's not even funny

Another excruciatingly long summer is over. Actual hockey games are on the horizon. Because this is the 265th most widely read hockey blog on the internets, MYFO felt a deep obligation to our dozens of readers to prepare this series of previews telling you about every single team in the NHL. By “prepare” we mean, we found other people to write many of them for us. We were looking for people who (unlike us) might have an actual clue about these teams, but were also eager/willing/ enough to work for free. Within those constraints, we think we did an admirable job.

Your L.A. Kings Season Preview is brought to you by k.m. stiles of Purple Crushed Velvet. Additional color (photographic) commentary, courtesy of LeNoc.

Say what you want about the Kings, but there’s no way they’ll be worse than last year.

Ten Reasons Why the Kings Will Finish Better than 29th Place: Continue reading

OMFG NEWS ALERT: KINGS INVOLVED IN KIDDIE POR–Wait, what?

I nearly lost my lunch when I saw this headline on the L.A. Kings Web site. I thought “Kings Hope Kids Can Fill Holes” was the announcement of their bevy of teenage prospects’ participation in Vol. 36 of the estimable “Fill My Holes” DVD series. I know I suggested last summer that the NHL needed a scandal to spice things up, but this was beyond even my lurid imagination.

No, as it turns out, the article was just a halfhearted attempt to hype the Kings’ halfhearted rebuilding project (Now in Year 16 of 32!). Continue reading

Pay Us to Wear Purple

After a week of chaos, the dust has settled on the initial rush of the 2008 Free Agency period.  Nearly 100 players inked their names to new contracts in the past seven days, in an era where the owners may not have yet figured out the magic behind financially sound long-term planning.  But hey, who am I to say that 19 million to Mike Commodore may not be the best investment? 

Even more impressive, the guy behind nhlnumbers.com has gotten all of his masterful spreadsheets updated with the new numbers and each team’s cap stance.  And after a masterful analysis by the MYFO Audit Department, we’ve come to the following conclusion.

The Los Angeles Kings need to hire us.

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MYFO Editorial: Open Letter to Gary Bettman

We here at MYFO try rarely to be serious about things. We bring the funny. But there are times, such as now, where we stare at a piece of news and can find no humorous slant to take on it, because it’s just infuriating. This summer, we will be introducing a series of Open Letters to personalities around the NHL. As always, much love and respect to the artist formerly known as I Party With Smoot for the artwork. Today, we introduce the first in that series, an Open Letter to Gary Bettman.

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Where the Party At? Western Conference Edition

The NHL Draft isn’t like the ones held by the NBA or the NFL.  Work up whatever fervor you like; 98.9 percent of the the teens and foreigners awkwardly pronounced behind a podium won’t be making an impact on your favorite team this season.  But hey, some people like to celebrate this sort of stuff, and many NHL teams want to help.  So join MYFO in our rundown of all the league’s DRAFT PARTIES.  Just don’t blame us when the prick in the back makes the jukebox blare Journey right when your team is about to pick.

Today, the Western Conference.

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Arrivederci, Marc Crawford, in bocca al lupo!

As most of you are aware by now, the Los Angeles Kings fired head coach Marc Crawford on Tuesday, ending his coaching tenure with the team after only two seasons, where he posted a 59-84-21 record. But, as is often the case in professional sports, two seasons plus no playoff appearances equals no job for the head coach. Add that to the fact that the Kings haven’t sniffed the playoffs since the 2001-2002 season, and it’s not surprising their front office’s patience has worn thin.

But we here at MYFO do not like to dwell on Crawford’s past – it’s not our style – nope, not at all. Instead, let us look to the future and attempt to ascertain where Marc Crawford might go from here.

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