Long ago, Lord Byron wrote, “The king-times are fast finishing. There will be blood shed like water, and tears like mist. But the peoples will conquer in the end. I shall not live to see it, but I foresee it.”
In other words, get ready, Hockey Jesus. I’m going to take that halo and use it as a cock ring.
By now, everyone has heard about the incident that occurred between Martin Brodeur and Sean Avery after the Rangers disposed of the Devils on Friday night. To those who live in a Mormon Statutory Rape Community or a place with similar internet access, Brodeur refused to shake Avery’s hand after the game, as is the tradition when a series in the NHL comes to an end.
Ohhh, snap! You really got him on that one, Marty. You flipped him like a cheese omelette and left Avery sizzling. Total burn.
Dear Canuckistani Terrorist Fuckbuckets,
Oh, c’mon. Who did you think was going to be doing this preview?
Well even though they won’t be in on the whole “televising the playoffs” thing, ESPN would like you to know that they fully intend to cover the NHL post-season with all the analysis and fancy webbyness they put towards any major sports story. Don’t believe me? Check out this crazy graphic they conjured up overnight!
It’s a four-way face-off!
Now while these are unconventional in hockey, both in the regular season AND the playoffs, you have to admire how ESPN’s thinking. After all, it doesn’t matter what team you play for: there’s only one goal in the post-season, and that’s the Stanley Cup. (Whose logo has been magically superimposed on the ice!) So ESPN has taken the following four players for their photoshop:
Ryan Getzlaf, Center, Anaheim Ducks
Joe Thornton, Center, San Jose Sharks
Sidney Crosby, Center, Pittsburgh Penguins
Jaromir Jagr, Right Wing, New York Rangers
One of these things is not like the other….
Evening, gang! Versus is just getting cranked up, so join us after the jump for some sweet liveblogging action. Comment along and get blitzed with us.
That’s right, cats and kittens. Your friendly MYFO Gang will be liveblogging the Titanic Biblical Struggle between Hockey Jesus and Hockey Herod as Sidney Crosby’s Penguins take on Sean Avery’s Rangers tonight in Part 2 of the home-and-home series.
So come back tonight at 7 PM EST and we’ll be liveblogging away, some of us more sober than others.