I hear this is what Ryan Miller uses
Another excruciatingly long summer is (almost) over. Actual hockey games are on the horizon. Because this is the 265th most widely read hockey blog on the internets, MYFO felt a deep obligation to our dozens of readers to prepare this series of previews telling you about every single team in the NHL. By “prepare” we mean, we found other people to write many of them for us. We were looking for people who (unlike us) might have an actual clue about these teams, but were also eager/willing enough to work for free. Within those constraints, we think we did an admirable job.
Your preview of the Sabres is brought to you by danielleia of Sabre Kallisions.
Mmm. Dani in the MYFO house. I don’t think these guys understand what they got themselves into. Clearly they’re closing up shop and wanted to decrease traffic. Anyway where was I? Oh, right, SABRES HOCKEY. They’re so shiny. Come sit on my lap as we embrace new cultural awesomeness by giving you a month-by-month Sabres season spoiler. Continue reading
The NHL Draft isn’t like the ones held by the NBA or the NFL. Work up whatever fervor you like; 98.9 percent of the the teens and foreigners awkwardly pronounced behind a podium won’t be making an impact on your favorite team this season. But hey, some people like to celebrate this sort of stuff, and many NHL teams want to help. So join MYFO in our rundown of all the league’s DRAFT PARTIES. Just don’t blame us when the prick in the back makes the jukebox blare Journey right when your team is about to pick.
Today, the Eastern Conference.
Contrary to popular belief, not everybody in the NHL makes the playoffs. Try as they may, 14 teams ended their hockey-related obligations this weekend after a long, hard year of sucktitude. We here at MYFO encourage you to erase their substandard play from your collective memory, and join us in wishing them good luck on the golf course starting today.
First up, Hextall454 with the Northeast and Atlantic tee times.
God, I would like to thank you for ensuring that the SI’s Pop Culture Grid editor doesn’t have the athlete rolodex of Peters Gammons and King. Because of their limited reach, their ability to trot out a feature of inane questions asked to middling athletes has once again included 2, yes 2! NHL players in this week’s edition. So in the name of all Features Recurring, it’s time for…
This Week’s Douche-Off!!!
Since the NHL can’t showcase its popularity in traditional sports business terms like “TV ratings” and “merchandise sales,” the fallback is always game attendance. Ever since we got back from the Lockout, we’ve been getting stories about how attendance is better than ever. And generally speaking, that is probably true. Hockey is THE best live sport, and you’re stupid if you’re not taking any opportunity to see it in person. Plus, draught beer always tastes better when you just spend 7 dollars on it. Right?
No one knows this better than the fan base of the Buffalo Sabres. ESPN has the proof?
As you can see, we’ve scuttled Making Puck even though we’ve finished our shift writing the NHL Closer (for now) over at Deadspin. All in all, we didn’t see the comedic value in writing one-liners for 12 games we didn’t watch and only have overedited NHL.com video highlights and banal AP recaps to work from. It’s like putting a chef in a kitchen to make a gourmet meal, only to find the pantry filled with chicken broth, Gogurt, and Lunchables. Delicious.
However, the lack of Making Puck does not mean that there isn’t hockey being played, often in large arenas featuring players with cheap haircuts who get paid to skate. They work hard for the money. So hard for the money. That is, unless they’re about to be written about in this column.
After the jump, we give you MYFO’s Pineriders of the Night. Continue reading
Most of the MYFO crew were nestled snugly in the butt grooves of their couches for the liveblog. The Legend of Vincent Tremblay, however, found the right combination of incantations and sacrifices to appease the TicketMaster Gods, and made his way to Orchard Park to witness the Winter Classic first hand. While his attempts at participating in the liveblog by email turned into a fight to prevent his wireless provider from remotely detonating the battery in his phone, he did collect enough notes to prepare this report.
Welcome to Buffalo
The drive up from Pittsburgh was an uneventful 3 1/2 hours. (This is called foreshadowing.)
This was, for all the travel I’ve done, the first time I’ve been a road fan. Other times, when I’ve travelled to a sporting event, there wasn’t a Pittsburgh team involved. So this would be my first chance to take what the Old College Roommate and I have dished out for years from over the visitor’s runway at Mellon Arena.