The NHL Draft isn’t like the ones held by the NBA or the NFL. Work up whatever fervor you like; 98.9 percent of the the teens and foreigners awkwardly pronounced behind a podium won’t be making an impact on your favorite team this season. But hey, some people like to celebrate this sort of stuff, and many NHL teams want to help. So join MYFO in our rundown of all the league’s DRAFT PARTIES. Just don’t blame us when the prick in the back makes the jukebox blare Journey right when your team is about to pick.
Today, the Eastern Conference.
Contrary to popular belief, not everybody in the NHL makes the playoffs. Try as they may, 14 teams ended their hockey-related obligations this weekend after a long, hard year of sucktitude. We here at MYFO encourage you to erase their substandard play from your collective memory, and join us in wishing them good luck on the golf course starting today.
Next up, Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price with the Supplemental Southeast tee times, since he screwed up and forgot the Thrashers.
Friday March 21, 2008: The Capitals Locker Room
Late Friday night, The Capitals congratulated Alex Ovechkin on his entrance into the 60 Goal Club by locking him in a broom closet. Greeny smeared a Barbasol pie in Ovie’s face, and Donald grabbed the stunned Ovie by the collar and threw the superstar into a small room adjacent to the visitor’s locker room. Viktor grabbed the door handle to prevent Ovie from escaping and to thwart anyone from entering, but Shaone wrested control of the portal from Viktor.
Ray Emery is crazy. Cray-zee, baby. Word around the rinks is that he has been hitting the donuts hard–when he does show up for practice, there’s powdered sugar all over his sweater. He’s lost the support of many Ottawa fans, if the estimable Senators Lost Cojones is any indication. The coach won’t play him if he loses, his teammates can’t be happy with his practice-missing antics; he may even want out himself. So Ray is prime trade bait, even if he does come with lots of baggage and a hefty contract. But where should he start apartment-shopping? Continue reading
Welcome to the newest feature on MYFO: Welcome Back! We know there’s a lot of fans of football teams that have nothing to pay attention to anymore. Knowing that, they’re turning to other sports. We’re happy to help. Every time a football team’s season ends, we’ll welcome those fans back to the fold by giving them an update as to what that city’s team has been up to this year.