Sean Avery: Avery goes to rehab

[Taking the sensible route for once, our “hero” goes to the doctor to get his hand worked on, in preparation for the upcoming second half of the season.]

So, what’s the verdict, Doc?

“Well, Sean, since your surgery, how have you been working your wrist out? You seem to be developing a repeated stress injury.”

Well, I’ve been shooting pucks past defenseless goalies! Those fucking mud-trail lickers can’t stop my slapshot!

“Haven’t you scored, like, four goals all season? What have you really been doing?”

Fuck you, you fucking knob slobberer! I’ve scored two of the goals in the last five fucking games!

“You know I told you that your constant masturbation would only re-injure your wrist. Lay off the porno.

[Should Sean listen to his doctor? Or should Sean continue to rub out throat babies on a regular basis?]