The Commissioner’s Challenge: You’re Fired

No, it was time–past time, apparently–to lay down the law. “Get these artery-clogging doughballs out of here before I set fire to them and shove them down your pants,” the Commissioner growled to the delivery boy, who nearly left a vapor trail on the way to the elevator.

“And you,” he turned to Pencil-neck. “What’s your name?”
“Jim Hunt–”
“No, your name is You’re Fired. Also known as, get out of my headquarters before I call security. Your final paycheck will not be in the mail.”
“Out. Now.”

Pencil-neck’s face turned purple, but he turned and walked out. He stopped in the doorway, and slowly turned to face the Commissioner. “You don’t know who I am, do you?”

“You’re the guy who was just leaving.”
“When my uncle hears about this, he won’t be happy. Not. At. All.” Pencil-neck turned and left.

After the meeting (which went smoothly, as usual), the Commissioner spent time meticulously attending to the mundane details that other executives hand out to underlings. Monitoring secretaries’ Internet usage; checking under the rims of the toilet in the men’s room to keep up with the cleaning crew; bugging Stephen Walkom’s office. That sort of thing.

Shortly after lunch, the Commissioner’s secretary buzzed over the intercom.

“This is the Commissioner.”
“Sir. A package was left for you at the front desk.”
“Bring it in.”


The Commissioner opened the package. It turned out to be a shoebox. With flowers in it. That was strange. First of all, who sent flowers in a shoebox? More importantly, who on Earth would send him flowers at all, especially ones that had been pulled out of the ground, and looked remarkably similar to those lining his driveway? A strange feeling started to come over the Commissioner. It took two full minutes to realize what it was: worry.

“The Commissioner does not get worried,” he said out loud, to no one in particular. Still, perhaps he should go home early. But what kind of example would that set for the marketing interns? Next thing you know, some of them would want to leave before their 8 p.m. quitting time for “family reasons.” Should he stay, or go home early?