Peter Stastny Is Still Fucking Pissed at Those Communist Bastards

Commie Killer

Peter Stastny is an NHL Hall of Famer. He had a stellar career with the Nordiques, Devils and Blues, finishing with 450 goals and more than 1,200 points in less than 1,000 games. Stastny also was one of the first players (and the first major star) to defect from Communist Europe to play in North America.

For you youngsters out there, Communism once filled the role that “islamofascism” now plays in the world; i.e., overhyped threat to goodness, democracy and apple pie, headed by cartoonish egomaniacs and borderline psychotic thugs who hate our way of life, particularly all the fun parts like making lots of money and taking sarcastic verbal potshots at your own government.

For most of us, Communism is pretty much a punchline at this point. But not for Peter Stastny. Nope, Peter still wants to send all those Commie bastards straight to the Hell in which their black atheist hearts refuse to believe.

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Mike Bossy Needs a Hobby

Tim, Stan, and Mike

An old friend (and fellow Flyers fan) e-mailed me this picture a few weeks back. After several long years in the service of our country’s military, he’s a civilian now, and recently embarked on his first business trip. The bad news? They sent him to Toronto. The good news? Well, then:

The guy on the left is me. The guy on the right is Mike Bossy, Hall of Fame Islander (9 consecutive 50 goal seasons – crazy) with his autograph above. And the object in the middle is a little something in which Lord Stanley may have sipped from …

Yeah, I can’t say I’ve ever taken a business trip that has gotten me a photo opportunity with the best trophy in sports. Way to go there, Tim.

Wait a minute.

So what’s with Mike Bossy? He was just hanging around the holy grail (which he hoisted four times) on chance that someone who recognized him wanted a Hall of Fame keepsake? And what’s more, he sticks around to sign said keepsake. Does the Hall of Fame make a habit of staffing their inductees on idle Tuesdays for these types of things, or did he buy a ticket so he could check out pucks he netted decades ago? Apparently, basking in close proximity of your greatest achievement prevents it from being classified as loitering.

In other news, I’m off to go chill by the old school NES from my youth, on which I beat Contra without using the 30 lives cheat code.