MYFO Mormonisms

Who cares if these are bad ideas--nice stems

Welcome to MYFO’s newest weekly monthly semi–weekly annual (maybe) recurring feature, MYFO Mormonism. This is a place where we have ideas that sound good in theory, but when we try to put them into practice, they really don’t turn out as well as we hoped. Much like communism. These are ideas that seem funny to us, but we’re not talented enough to make them into full-blown articles. Join your favorite Melt Your Face-Off writers after the jump for our poorly thought out ideas.

Jesus Marimba! Not Another Charity Hockey Game!

Here we go again. The inaugural Festival Cup charity hockey game will take place on September 5th at the Air Canada Centre in Toronto. The event benefits the Right to Play, “an international humanitarian organization that uses sport and play programs to improve health, develop life skills, and foster peace for children and communities in some of the most disadvantaged areas of the world.”

NHL Mascots: Exposed! (Volume V)

Welcome to another installment of MYFO’s NHL Mascots: Exposed! Series. I am confident that by now you all know the routine, so let’s just get to it, shall we?

One caveat: as has been the case with other volumes, we are dealing with mascots, so things can get a little hairy, literally and figuratively, so be forewarned.

MYFO’s Open Letter Series: In Which LeNoceur Defends the Honor of Ice Girls Everywhere

Dear uptight bloggers and Internet commenters who start insulting Ice Girls all willy-nilly:

You’ve hurt me, more than words can say. If you’re going to dis Ice Girls, fine, just do it in an orderly fashion, thank you very much. Righteous anger, like one’s concentration during cunnilingus, should be tightly focused. It does no one any good to just start slopping your tongue all over the place.

Ice Girls, especially, don’t deserve this treatment. Ice Girls represent, if not the pinnacle, at least a lofty crag on the mountain of hockey enjoyment. Let me explain: I like sports. I like ladies. These are sportsladies! Hooray! They have my whole-hearted support. But not everyone is such a fan.

NHL Mascots: Exposed! (Volume IV)

Mascot Bukkake!

Welcome to the fourth installment of MYFO’s NHL Mascots: Exposed! series. Today’s edition features only two mascots but what occurred between these once close friends but now bitter rivals deserved its own post as it fractured the tightly-knit NHL Mascot community so terribly, the extent of the damage may never fully be realized. Perhaps we can all learn something from this tragic tale.

Escape from Hockeytown, Part VI

Back by “popular” demand (and by “popular”, I mean a few of my fellow editors enjoy it – everyone else? Can’t say), we now continue with MYFO’s Classic Movie Adaptation of Escape from New York. As we move further into the story, Snake McCarty continues his quest to locate Gary Bettman after the Commissioner’s plane went down in Detroit. Also, in this installment, Snake meets someone from his past who may have an idea where the Commissioner may be located. Enjoy.

Part I of Escape from Hockeytown can be found here , Part II here, Part III here , Part IV is here and Part V? Well, click right here, dear reader.

What Kind of Idiots Launch a Hockey Blog in the Dead of Summer?

Yeah, well, that was us, exactly one year ago. Many of you, we suspect, weren’t around back when this humble little post got things started. It’s like a time capsule! That was like, three banners and several dozen editors and contributors ago! (Hint: I wouldn’t bother sending an email to the address in the post and trying to get yourself hooked up as an editor.)

Here we stand, however, the Final Five Editors. Our faces are not known. But, thanks to the all-bountiful series of tubes, all of our idiot musings last forever, or at least until the FBI shuts down WordPress. Follow us as we re-live MYFO’s rise from complete obscurity to the 256th-most-read hockey blog in North America (Canada excluded).