Penthouse Forum’s Letter of the Month

Dear Penthouse Forum,

I know this is going to sound like a crazy fantasy but every word of this story is true.

Welcome to MYFO’s (P)friday Perfunctory Photo Pop Probatory

In what we hope will be a recurring feature here on MYFO during the long and winding road that is the offseason, we welcome you to MYFO’s (P)friday Perfunctory Photo Pop Probatory. Every Friday, we will put up a photo and ask a few multiple choice questions. First up, a photo of Sean Avery, in what could likely be the most ridiculous outfit a man has ever worn. So sharpen your pencil, keep your eyes on your own paper and meet me after the jump.

Jonathan Davis Would Like To Have A Word With You About Sidney Crosby’s Facial Hair

A lot of comments have been made and plenty of ridicule has been heaped upon the Chosen One regarding his slow-developing accumulation of facial hair during the Pittsburgh Penguins’ playoff run. In fact, I even mentioned it in the NHL Closer over on Deadspin on Wednesday which “started a discussion” or two in the comments section.

Despite the fact we were just having a little fun at Sidney’s expense, my inbox was inundated with e-mails regarding the subject, each one more hostile than the last. One of the most surprising came from Jonathan Davis, lead singer of the band KoЯn. He requested a forum in which he could address what he refers to as the “irresponsible hate-mongering and persecution of a true hero”. MYFO was more than happy to oblige.

Olie Jokinen decides on being O.J. Simpson for Halloween

WARNING! Don’t watch if you’ve just ate.

Um. Yeah. Holy fuck.

/dick joke

NHL Mascots: Exposed! (Volume II)

Welcome to another episode of MYFO’s recurring feature, NHL Mascots: Exposed! The initial installment of this bit utilized NHL.com’s mascot page which, much to the chagrin of yours truly, appears to have not been updated since Sidney Crosby started sprouting pubes – wait, wasn’t that just last week?

Anyhoo, I will now exploit a much more, ahem, reliable source, the esteemed and never-wrong Wikipedia. Join me, as we journey through the perverse and sordid world of NHL Mascots. But be forewarned: things could get a little sticky.

Closer to the edge…

I’ve made light in past articles of the fact that the producer of the Saw films is buying the Lightning. But the further along this deal goes, the more I start to wonder….there may be more to this guy than using movie quotes to get a cheap laugh.

After the jump, read why Oren Koules may have the last laugh, and why the Jigsaw doll still scares the fuck out of me.

NHL Mascots: Exposed!

During one of my frequent perusals of the fine site NHL.com, I happened upon a little area I have never seen before in my visits. It was the Mascot Madness page. What I first discovered was that according to the information provided, only 20 teams currently have mascots. The second thing I discovered is that NHL mascots are, for the most part, pretty lame. So I delved a bit deeper, using various sources and utilizing the rapidly dwindling funds remaining in the MYFO coffers (hey, bail and bribery aren’t cheap!) and discovered some shocking information about these so-called “entertainment enhancers”. After the jump, let’s get to know the NHL mascots a little more than perhaps we need to, shall we?