Some Blogger Guy From “The Hockey News” Has All The Answers

 

Mike Brophy, blogger extraordinaire for The Hockey News, took it upon himself in a post published on August 4th to be one of the few people the only person in the friggin’ world to try and attempt the impossible task of defending Gary Bettman. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have casually read Brophy’s work from time to time and usually his work his more than competent. That is what makes this post all the more puzzling.

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Mediocre Russians Going Home? Yawn.

That doesn't look like a Lincoln ripoff. Not at all.

That doesn't look like a Lincoln ripoff. Not at all.

NHL brass has their panties in a wad once again over upstart Russian hockey league the KHL (“the ‘K’ is because it’s eKstreeeeme!”). Seems the Russian petrogoons who run the KHL may or may not be violating the “truce” negotiated between the two leagues a few weeks back, and are once again attempting to lure Russian players back to the motherland with promises of fine beluga and classic ZIL limousines, such as the one pictured above.

Last time, it was rumors of Evgeni Malkin being lured to Magnitogorsk. This time, it’s…Alex Radulov?! And Viktor Tikhonov?! Nooooooo! Continue reading

If the NHL Awards Show Aired But No One Knew It Was On, Did It Really Even Happen?

Even though it seems like the NHL doesn’t want you to know, the Awards Show is in fact taking place Thursday night in Toronto. Oh sure, it’s airing on Versus at 7:00 in the States (and on CBC for our brothers and sisters in Canuckistan), but did you know that? Why aren’t they promoting an event like this more? I could find nary a mention that it actually is going to be broadcast on either Versus or NHL.com’s web sites. This is all nhl.com had to offer – and it doesn’t even mention when it will be on. An event like this is showbiz, baby, and needs to be treated as such. Shit, I have been involved in Bowling League Banquets that were better publicized.

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Stupid Like a Fox?

We here at MYFO aren’t ones to shy away from making a joke at Commissioner Gary Bettman’s expense (or even giving him his own tag, or taking a gratuitous cheap shot). But when I saw the news that Martin Erat had signed a 7-year, $31.5 million deal with Nashville, I got to thinking. What if he’s not such a moronic douchenozzle after all? Continue reading

Where Have You Gone Pat Foley?

If you’ve heard my voice, you know that I’m not intended to speak on TV or radio. “Scratchy” would be the best word to describe my voice. If I’d been born ten years earlier, I’d be rich because my post-grunge band would’ve sold ten million albums. I’m a mouth breather, something I didn’t know was socially unacceptable until a few years ago. Thanks for the clogged nasal passages, Mom. Finally, I have no rhythm or cadence. My thoughts move much faster than my vocal chords, so when I have a lot to say, I let out a few nonsensical syllables. Luckily, I have no plans to enter the broadcast booth.

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Other Rule Changes Can Wait: No-Touch Icing Needs To Be Adopted By The NHL

Pretty ugly, wouldn’t you say? The worst part of it all is it could have been so easily avoided – if the NHL would just go to no-touch icing.

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If Rick DiPietro Had My Job

EP-BT7101As I mentioned in my intro upon joining the MYFO team, I’ve got a job that allows me to read the maximum number of sports blogs while computing the minimum amount of ROI calculations over any given day.  Don’t get me wrong, I get my work done, but I’ve maximized it in such a way that allows me to keep busy with the on-goings of underground, and that includes laughing at the misfortunes of one Vesa Toskala.

What if Hockey Players had normal jobs?  They couldn’t rely on their speed, strength, and unpronounceable French Canadian and Czech names for a paycheck.  Now the last thing I want to be is an NHL goalie, using my face as a puckblocker.  But I have to wonder…

What if Islanders goalie Rick DiPietro had my job?

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