Bring on Angola!

Apparently, if you can arrange so that your biggest draws in your league can advance to your Finals, even 4-letter Connecticuttian media hegemons will take notice.

Special to ESPN.com (meaning ESPN.com thinks he’s retarded), Damien Cox penned an article the other night that likens everyone’s favorite hockey savior to our version of Larry Bird.  And since every doofy comparison requires a Magic, it appears that our friend OVIE TIME has won the right to play the Laker on ice.  Bird and Magic = Crosby and Ovechkin?  Sigh.  Damien Cox, if you wanted to create an obtuse analogy, you would have done the following.

MYFO Presents: The 2008 NHL Dream Team (now, with less Laettner!)

Sportscasting Supervillians Unite!

Captain Canada: Bristol? Where the hell is Bristol? It’s not in England, is it? Buncha pantywaists.

Major Mullet: Naw. It’s in Connecticut, eh.

Captain Canada: Well, that’s all right then. That Pat Verbeek was a heckuva player. Little guy, but tough as nails. He didn’t need any dispy-dos to score goals. Just played hard and went to the net, like a good Ontario boy should.

Major Mullet: Well, coach, now that we’re joining forces down here, what’s the next step? Mexico? Finland?

Did John Buccigross Consult The Oracle At Delphi Or Something?

With the Conference Semifinals starting tonight, I thought it would be a good time to take a look back and see how the so-called experts over at tWWL fared with their picks in the First Round.

As an added bonus, some hot Linda Cohn action, after the jump.

You’re Different, and That’s Bad

Well even though they won’t be in on the whole “televising the playoffs” thing, ESPN would like you to know that they fully intend to cover the NHL post-season with all the analysis and fancy webbyness they put towards any major sports story.  Don’t believe me?  Check out this crazy graphic they conjured up overnight! 

It’s a four-way face-off!

Now while these are unconventional in hockey, both in the regular season AND the playoffs, you have to admire how ESPN’s thinking.  After all, it doesn’t matter what team you play for: there’s only one goal in the post-season, and that’s the Stanley Cup.  (Whose logo has been magically superimposed on the ice!)  So ESPN has taken the following four players for their photoshop:

Ryan Getzlaf, Center, Anaheim Ducks

Joe Thornton, Center, San Jose Sharks

Sidney Crosby, Center, Pittsburgh Penguins

Jaromir Jagr, Right Wing, New York Rangers

One of these things is not like the other….