Caption Contest: Martin Skoula, Amateur Optometrist

Hey Josh, I think you have something in your eye.

Hello kids. I have decided to open up the comments section to a good old fashioned Caption Contest. It’s like making fun of retards, without the guilt and feelings of supremacy.

Please join us in the comments section and show why MYFO readers are the most funny, perverse and “special” (in a good way) people on these here internets. So go ahead and let us know what would be the most fitting caption for the above photo. Winner gets their choice of any MYFO product from our store on Zazzle. Most imporantly, be the third person in the world to don MYFO gear! (Other than me and LeNoc’s grandma – that cooky lady)

Submissions will be accepted through Friday, October 10th.

Be nice. Although, we encourage you to make jokes along the lines of “buk-hockey?”, any acceptable attempt at humor will become the intellectual property of MYFO and we will use it accordingly and make millions of dollars off of it while you sit there eating Smack Ramen. Sucks to be you.

MYFO Open Letter Series: The One Where Weed Against Speed Goes America All Over the Wild’s Ass

As you may or may not have heard, the Wild and dickmuncher agent Ron Salcer are currently locked in a battle over the Wild’s attempts to sign Marian Gaborik to a long-term contract. Gabby will be an unrestricted free agent after this season so it is imperative that the Wild either sign him before the start of the season or be forced to deal with the day-to-day distractions that the “will they or won’t they trade him” situations always undoubtedly cause (I’m looking at you, Mats Sundin, you assclown).

Alternatively, the Wild could ship Gaborik’s goldbricking ass to some other team before the start of the season. I’m not saying it’s the best option, but it may come to that.

What it all boils down to is this: GET THE FUCKING THING DONE ALREADY!

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Chad Kroeger Ain’t Got Shit On Me

Dear Coach Lemaire and Mr. Risebrough,

I can’t believe what just happened. I thought we would be together forever. It was my dream to be back home. I guess some things just aren’t meant to work out but I just feel so damned stupid for believing all of your lies.

As you know, I am a huge fan of Arena Rock – you know, the good stuff. Especially Nickelback. I can put them on and just lose myself in their rockin’ jams.

There are so many things I want to say to you both but I can’t find the words to articulate how I am feeling right now. Instead, if you would indulge me, I have chosen to express the pain I am now feeling in song.

Hey, Harding, fire up that karaoke machine, will ya? Yeah, I know, you got next.

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Hey Kids, It’s Summer Camp Time! Now Where Do You Little Bastards Want To Go?

Hi, there. This is Derek Boogaard and I have some bad news.

MYFO has generously afforded me the opportunity to take a moment out of their hectic posting schedule to inform you that this summer, there will be no Boogaard Fighting Camp. I am profoundly disappointed about this and I would rather not get into why I will be not holding the camp at this point. The one thing I will say is the negative publicity and media backlash that resulted from my last Fighting Camp had a lot to do with my decision and let’s leave it at that.

But do not fret, for from the ashes of the Fighting Camp, a new Boogaard camp has been created:

I am pleased to announce and be sure to get your registration forms in early, because space is limited for the Derek Boogaard Debate Camp.

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MYFO Editorial: Open Letter to Gary Bettman

We here at MYFO try rarely to be serious about things. We bring the funny. But there are times, such as now, where we stare at a piece of news and can find no humorous slant to take on it, because it’s just infuriating. This summer, we will be introducing a series of Open Letters to personalities around the NHL. As always, much love and respect to the artist formerly known as I Party With Smoot for the artwork. Today, we introduce the first in that series, an Open Letter to Gary Bettman.

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Where the Party At? Western Conference Edition

The NHL Draft isn’t like the ones held by the NBA or the NFL.  Work up whatever fervor you like; 98.9 percent of the the teens and foreigners awkwardly pronounced behind a podium won’t be making an impact on your favorite team this season.  But hey, some people like to celebrate this sort of stuff, and many NHL teams want to help.  So join MYFO in our rundown of all the league’s DRAFT PARTIES.  Just don’t blame us when the prick in the back makes the jukebox blare Journey right when your team is about to pick.

Today, the Western Conference.

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He’s Awfully Cocky for a Guy Who Couldn’t Cut It in Nashville

Providing yet more anecdotal evidence that your grandma really was right on just about everything, another bad penny has turned up. Craig Leipold, erstwhile owner of the Nashville Predators (and who couldn’t wait to get out of town while that franchise foundered, and nearly sank, on his watch) is as of a few weeks ago the new owner of the Minnesota Wild.

Thankfully, he’ll have coach Jacques Lemaire to lean on as he gets his feet frozen wet up in St. Paul. However, some teams, including the Leafs, have been sniffing around GM Doug Risebrough. Is the Cragister worried that the sharp and successful Risebrough might jump ship? Hardly. Continue reading