Coach Q Leaving Colorado; Will Continue Hobby of Messing with Starship Captains

Coaching hockey’s no fun when you can’t use your godlike Continuum powers to expand the other team’s goal to four times its normal size, or turn Chris Chelios into a superannuated skating cadaver. So long Colorado; hello Greater Magellanic Cloud. I hear there’s an upstart team of android zemtok ball players looking for some direction. Hope they like playing boring D and early playoff exits.