Making Puck: Edward Norton Edition

ednortoncover.jpgThis is Edward Norton.  He’s a badass.

To his credit, the man has starred in 17 films.  In just about everyone of them, he’s a badass.  But we’re not talking knock you on your head with a haymakerbadass – let the Vin Diesels of the world do that mindless child’s play.  This man is apsychological badass.  He gets inside your head, but in a non-Malkovichian way.  That’s why he goes by Edward.  He could just as easily cultivate the tough guy persona by going with “Ed” or “Eddie,” but he sticks with Edward.  Why?  Because it’s the name of an unassuming psychologicial badass.  No one’s afraid of “Edward.”  And then he kills a priest and creates a sheepish alter-ego that clears him of all charges and you didn’t even see it coming.  If it was Eddie, you’d suspect something long before Laura Linney gets played.  He plays roles where he doesn’t need to throw a punch to scare the hell out of you.  So while your action movie marquees come emblazoned with guys that are all brawn and no brain, and your Oscar flicks hype the DiCaprios and Depps of the world, Edward Norton is underappreciated.  We honor him with today’s Making Puck.

Afterall, you can’t spell psychological badass without “psycho.”

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This Just In: Gretzky Was ‘Pretty Good Player’ According to Leafs President

Oooh, freaky!Richard Peddie is the president of the Maple Leafs. He is also a certified Master of the Obvious. In a statement that confirmed the opinion of 99.9 percent of crazed Leafs fans (including, I presume, erstwhile MYFO contributor Kid Canada, although he was unavailable for comment), Peddie acknowledged recently to the Toronto Sun that hiring John Ferguson Jr. as GM four years ago might not have been the brightest decision.

What struck me about reading this story was not so much the “bombshell” that Ferguson hasn’t exactly catapulted the Leafs to Stanley Cup contention. As I learned from the Kids in the Hall, no team is more fun to make fun of than the Leafs. No, what struck me as an American was how much Canada is like some bizarro parallel universe. Everything seems like its perfectly familiar…but not exactly. Get your dose of gooseflesh after the jump.

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You think it is over….but it has just begun.

MYFO Undercover has done it again. Last night, I was given a tape from our triple-secret undercover deep throat performer informant. The tape was of the meetings during the Lightning’s sale talks. After the jump, see how the sale faltered, then died, all because of a producer’s word.

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Making Puck: “About Damn Time” edition

Today’s Making Puck is dedicated to the things that should have happened long ago, but for whatever reason, didn’t. Join me after the jump to make up for lost time, and stay tuned for later today, when MYFO Undercover pulls off another coup.

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Danny Briere’s Dasherboard Confessional, Chapter II

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Flyers center Daniel Briere, whose self-realization of his emonocity was exposed over the summer by MYFO, has a diary.  It’s disguised as a 2005 Sabres media guide covered in Snow Patrol stickers.  As Briere was going through security for the team’s trip to Raleigh, a MYFO operative hijacked his knapsack and secured the document in question.  (If promised a Cinnabon, the TSA folds faster than Bryan McCabe on a 2-on-1 breakaway.)  Here’s DB’s entry following the Flyers’ 6-3 loss to Boston, which included a game misconduct for linemate Scott Hartnell.

11:33 pm:

But I don’t WANNA be a Broad Street Bully…  -sigh-

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Making Puck: Peanuts Edition

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Last night was the annual airing of the beloved “Peanuts” holiday specials. While you were taking notes on Lucy’s decidedly un-Dr.-Phil self-improvement advice and replicating all of the above dance moves in your living room, hockey was being played.

Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you’re the Charlie Browniest. Carey Price is sort of the anti-Charlie Brown. He’s really, really good at sports, and the ladies love him. He led the Canadiens to a 4-3 OT win over the Leafs. Alex Kovalev, who has exhibited a great deal of interest in the first half of the season, scored twice, and Andrei Kostitsyn had the game-winner.

You and that blanket. What are you going to do with it when you grow up? Nick Lidstrom has been playing seemingly forever. Still, he is such a security blanket on the blueline that even stiffs like Chris Osgood come away looking like heroes. Lidstrom added two assists, and Pavel Datsyuk had a couple of goals as the Wings beat the Flames 5-3.

Ahh! I’ve been kissed by a dog! I’ve got dog germs! Quick, get the soap! Get the aniseptic! Get the iodine! The Ducks would like to wash their second period against the Canucks out of their mouths. Vancouver scored three times en route to a 4-0 win. Roberto Luongo got the shutout, and Ryan Kesler had two goals.

Phoning It In

capsphone.jpgWhen I want to go to a hockey game, I will buy a ticket and go to a hockey game.  Until then, leave me alone.

THe NHL is a league that realizes that they’ve got the best sport in town to see live.  If a person sees one game within close proximity to the actual ice, it’s probable that one wouldn’t mind seeing another game in the future.  But it’s unlikely that your local arena is in eyeshot of where you work, so you may put it out of mind once the final buzzer sounds.  That’s why the good folks of NHL Marketing Departments have jobs.

Now I’ve already covered why the Sharks think I’m their number one fan, but let’s focus on my hometown team: the Washington Capitals.  I’ve been to a few games this year, and thanks to the kind offer of MYFO’s Favorite Owner, I’ll be living large come January in the owner’s box.  Why do I go to Caps games even though I’m a Flyers fan?  Because it’s hockey, damn it.  (Oh, and because tickets cost $10.  I almost forgot.)  When I see a game on the schedule that will fit with my agenda, I get some folks together and go – I’m the self-motivating type.  This allows me instant puck gratification.

Oh, and it allows me to screw with the cold-calling intern from the Caps Marketing Department.

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