The other night, I caught the annual showing of “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” on network television. Only a half-hour long, this Charles Schultz holiday classic doesn’t exactly have the legs that the Halloween or Christmas specials do. So rather than glean less-than-memorable Thanksgiving quotes from it and abstractly link them to the night in the NHL, I give MYFO Nation the following rant.
Peppermint Patty! What the hell? Seriously. You can’t just invite yourself over to someone’s house and demand Thanksgiving dinner! Where do you get the stones to pull off a freeloader move like that? What??? You’ve invited Marcie and Franklin too??? Just because you come from a broken home that plans on serving Chef Boyardee and tree bark to commemorate the occasion doesn’t mean they do! Ever think that they might actually want to spend Thanksgiving with their families? But hey, it’s okay! I didn’t have anything better do to do. I wasn’t going to watch the first relevant Thanksgiving Lions game in a decade. I wasn’t going to have a long afternoon nap. I wasn’t going to take my retarded beagle for a leisurely walk. Perhaps I’d do it if I, you know, had any speck of physical attraction to you. If you were the Little Red-Haired Girl, I’d put out candles, flowers, and play some John Legend and then, and only then, I’d have a reason to give thanks. So unless you magically become her…
…go baste yourself.
After the jump, Hex regains his sensibilities and gives you what you came for: Making Puck.